Bonus Mom

Blended families are pretty common these days. We've come up with ways of naming the new relationships. When feeling are deeply hurt by the endings of previously family ties, nasty terms are often used. But when people get along well enough, one frequently hears "step _____" for the new relationship. 

Steve and I have lovingly "adopted" each other's families. Yes, they're step-whatevers, but we don't bother with that terminology unless some confused third party needs an explanation, and we find a need to indulge them. We are just family. I don't have just 1 grandchild, for example, I have 9 (if I counted right.) Sometimes Steve and I have to sit down and carefully add them all up. Then there are 5 "great-"s. Blood relatives or not, they all call me Grandma or Grandma Heather. My generation is thinning out but grandmothers are not a total rarity and we get first names added. Hugs don't depend on titles, after all.  

I'm even friends with Steve's kids' Mom. During a phone call between her and Steve yesterday, there were two other contributors to the conversation, their daughter and myself.  I'll be heading over with some things for them at the end of the week in the car while providing a needed ride to one of them. (I get to pet the cat too.) Details were discussed, of the "do you still want...?" variety. Mostly those are things Steve promised his daughter years ago, and finally decided to send to her now, to make sure she gets them. During this conversation, I heard something that truly set me in my place in the family. I am not a "stepmom". I am a "bonus mom"!

I absolutely love it! My bonus daughter considers my kids as brothers and sisters. Not step-anythings. We are, simply, family, all a bonus to the others.