A New Phone Scam: "Failure To Appear"

I was visiting a friend in the hospital when my phone rang. It showed an Arizona area code. I answered. I still know people down there.

The first voice was nearly indecipherable, definitely had a foreign accent , and was accompanied by a lot of background noise. I caught a few words, like the claim to be from the Sheriff's department, and a bit later "failure to appear", but explained I couldn't hear clearly what the caller was saying.

I got transferred to a second person, which was at first both better and worse. Worse, because there was louder background noise, but better because this was a deeper voice, definitely American, the kind of voice one could easily mistake for an stereotypical authoritative cop.

Once he understood I couldn't hear him, the background noise went away, with the explanation that he'd turned off his police radio. (I suppose that's supposed to impress the mark.) At least his voice was now understandable.

He confirmed my name, and said I had signed an affidavit to appear for a grand jury but had failed to appear. It was a "serious legal matter." Uh huh, sure.

Now let me interject here, had I ever signed such an affidavit, I would surely have known about it. And had such a thing happened, the world would have known about it. Right here! I would love to serve on a jury. I've been called twice to show up, but never even gone through voir dire. It was the "sit in a room, bring a snack, read a book and wait" kind of jury service in Minnesota. Arizona dispenses with waiting in a room, substituting checking in via phone. Nor was I ever called for a grand jury, just the normal ones. The second time, meaning Arizona,  I was informed I was now "too old" to serve on one and would not be called again.

Dang! But maybe Minnesota doesn't have that rule, and I could still be called.

But back to the call. I told the caller I couldn't possible have signed such an affidavit, none had ever reached me, if one had I'd remember, and more to the point I had left the state long ago. Then I hung up.

Within half a minute my phone rang again. I sent it to voice mail, and didn't bother to listen until I was back home. Once I did listen, the deep voice called me "Lisa", informed me it didn't matter that I had left the state long ago, this was from before then, and I should call back immediately. This was a "serious legal matter." 

OK, half a point for persistence. Only half, since they've not repeated trying to contact me. Maybe I should cut it back to a quarter point, since he couldn't even recall my name correctly.

I was distracted by being in the hospital when the call came in. Should they repeat it, I'd ask them what address the alleged jury summons had been sent to. When had it been sent? Having recently been sent a regular jury summons in AZ, a few months before we moved, I know I wasn't required to sign any affidavit promising to appear, I just needed to call a particular phone number to "answer" the summons and the phone system would register my call. I'd give them a code from the card I'd been sent, and I'd get a recorded message about next steps. I am also positive that had this alleged failure to appear actually happened way back when, I'd have had a knock on the door long before we moved. I might be tempted to just tell them, should they threaten to arrest me (presumably for non-payment of whatever fine they suggest I can pay to worm my way out of some bogus jail sentence), to go right ahead. Not that I'd give them any address, of course.