Nothing Hurts Yet

"The time is 5:23 A.M."

At least that's what I think I hear frpm the tinny voice over the baby monitor as my dad checks his watch. I had been sleeping. Now I'm not. Thanks, Dad.

The alarm is set to go off at 6:00 A.M., really in about 20 minutes because I set the time ahead. It gives me a few more minutes in the morning, and as often as the power goes out around here, it's just simpler to reset everything that way. At any rate, 20 minutes is how much shorter of sleep I'm going to be than I already was. There's not enough time to go back to sleep.

I take a mental inventory. Nothing hurts yet.

It won't last.

I'll have to get up soon, because my bladder woke up as soon as I did. I've learned there are consequences to not paying attention. And since I need to get up, the dog gets to go out. It's my rule, and it's only fair. The only problem is having to stand there and call him to come in again. That wakes me up enough to make getting to sleep again a good 20-minute proposition. Not enough time left. Can I postpone a few minutes?

My right hip starts to inform me I've been laying in this position quite long enough, thank you. I can't roll over to relieve the pressure. I'm currently sleeping in the recliner in my room. It puts the least pressure on my rotator cuff injury to the left shoulder, and I usually end up there, sometimes only moments after lying flat on the bed, left side up. It keeps the shoulder immobile, and prevents me from trying to roll over, something that lately has become a very bad idea. That's how I injured it in the first place, rolling over in bed. At least right now, with my having slept for hours in the chair, the shoulder doesn't have that deep ache that I went to bed with.

My knees aren't hurting yet either. I haven't rolled over for hours, something that often wakes my up from pain as one or other grinds from the torque of the rolling process. I actually wake up to hear myself saying, "Ow." Plus, I haven't stepped on either one yet. For right now, it's a pretty peaceful time.

Oh wait, leg cramp. The right foot wants to go to impossible places, and I have to pull against it to make it stop. Got it... nope, there it goes again. Done? Nope, there's another one. Dang, might as well get up now! I still resist fully waking as much as possible, and decide to postpone until full morning trying to assess whether I'm short of calcium or potassium to cause these cramps. Oh heck, even as soon as I decide that, the answer rolls in: calcium, probably. My diet has been fairly high in potassium lately. I take supplements in both, since the diuretics for my BP tend to flush them from my system before I can get adequate use of them.

In surrender, I toss off the lap blanket - remembering to use only the right hand to do it - kick down the foot rest, sit up, get up and go let the dog out on my way to the bathroom. On my way I glance at the clock on the nightstand, something I can't see from the recliner. It reads 4:24. Obviously what I thought I heard was wrong, but that's good news. Time enough to get back to sleep again, if I'm careful not to really wake myself up in the next five. I let the dog out and note it's pouring out. Great for the yard, tough luck for the dog, but at least he'll come back in faster.

By the time I get back, however, all the usual places hurt, and it's too soon to take any Ibuprofin for the day. Snatching a Milk Bone on my way back to bed, the dog's reward for coming back inside, I decide to head for the bed this time, since the pressure point in my hip hasn't really gone. It'll be the same hip, just a different angle. I carefully pull up the covers using only the right hand, put my head on the pillow...

And wake what seems an instant later to a pair of talking heads on the radio discussing something I have no interest in at the moment, which means it's great at driving me from my bed into the morning's routine, starting with another bathroom trip. This one, however, will end in Ibuprofin. By the time I get there, I'll appreciate that fact. For just a moment, however, I can reflect that nothing hurts yet.