The Trust

My granddaughter called the other day. She wants money, of course. Actually, that's not quite as bad as it sounds, although it may turn out that way, once she turns 18 and I no longer control the purse strings on some of the best events in her life. I am the "Trustee" for a few more months of her life. After that, I'm just Grandma.

My late mother-in-law, Lylah, was an educator. She taught Home Economics and Math for a number of years. By the time I met her, she was the high school librarian. She and Bob, my father-in-law, loved to travel, camping during the lean years and switching to Elderhostel trips in later years. After he died, she continued without him. If my recollection is correct, she visited 6 continents, missing only Antarctica.

Travel was their big luxury in an otherwise frugal lifestyle. They lived in an old farmhouse on a family farm that housed Rosas for well over a hundred years. The house had gained additions over the generations, but stayed fairly basic. (The basement furnace, with additions and ducts going out in all different directions, was both a monster and a marvel.) While they no longer farmed once both became teachers (a later career for Bob), the land was rented out to neighbors to farm for a modest rent. A brief mortgage might be put on the property for a new septic system or other major repair, but otherwise their expenses were pretty simple.

When Lylah died, there was an estate. Her son John inherited the farm. He had stayed in the area with his family, building a second house on the property and living there occasionally, and taking care of his mother as she aged. Paul's share of the estate was the money, but due to his estrangement with his mother, his share came to me and my kids instead. Part of that, according to her will, went into a trust for Paul's grandchildren, with me named as the trustee. Jordan, Richard's daughter, is still the only grandchild, and has enjoyed a much more interesting life than she would have because of that gift.

I set my own standards for spending the money. Her mother's calls for me to buy more fashionable clothes went unheeded. I justified expenses in only two categories: education and health. Since Jordan's family is on U-Care, the only health expenses I paid for were her braces, and contact lenses once she was old enough to use them properly.

Educational expenses were a bit more broadly defined. The trust paid for dance classes when she was little, and now will be paying for piano and voice lessons available from her school teachers for an extra charge. I stretched things a bit and paid for those special choir costumes required for performances, since they were something her mom couldn't put in the budget, raising what would become 5 children with 3 fathers who were not the best with child support. (Yes, including my son.) The trust also paid for travel.

Court-ordered visitation (a long battle and another story) allowed me a week of vacation with her every summer. Sometimes we would fly, and her tickets were paid from the trust. If there were other special activities on those trips, like train or boat rides, horseback riding, any of those things you make advance reservations for, they too came out of the trust. After a few modest camping trips in Minnesota, family trips took her around Lake Superior, to Washington State, Yellowstone, Alaska. A couple years ago she took a People To People trip to Fiji, New Zealand, and Australia. (Without me that time, of course.)

My bonus for all this has been the enjoyment of taking her and showing her all these different places and activities, without having to take her chunk out of my personal expenses. Double bonus. Plus, once a year I get to file paperwork with Martin County justifying every penny spent and every penny - or lack of - earned. There will be only two more of those to go. She inherits the balance this fall. While significantly smaller than it was originally, I believe it has been spent well on her. More, I believe Lylah would have approved, traveler that she was.

Her mom has called me asking if the final payout could be delayed until Jordan reaches 21, or until her family believes she can spend it completely wisely. After all, Jordan fights with her mom a lot and at those times yanks her chain by spouting off ridiculous uses she "plans" for the money: tattoos, boob implants, a fancy car, moving to Texas with her friend and waitressing down there. She also simply fantasizes about how to spend it, something I consider healthy, as long as she remembers to do the math. It can't get spent 6 times, after all. And fantasies are still free. She and I have discussed bank accounts, interest rates, CDs, and other ways of getting more from her money until college demands it. In the event, it will be for her to decide, not me, not her family. And the "when" of it is also preset by law, not me, not her family.

For a few months more, however, it's still my decision. Jordan wants to talk to me later today about how much she has left and lay out a proposal she has to return to Fiji for a while this summer. Depending on who the trip sponsor group is, and timing (she's already got 2 other things scheduled and paid for for this summer), I'm inclined to agree. She's sounding very grown up about it - so far. It's most likely a better use of the money than many things she might decide once she gets it to herself.

And I'm pretty sure Lylah would approve.