Pretending Not To Freeze

Phoenix area, right? Heat zone of the continental US of A. We come down here to avoid snow, ice, blizzards, and all the nasty other things the cold temperatures can bring you. With global warming we even expect milder winters than the ones we enjoyed when we first arrived here.

You'd think, eh?

First, we do worry about freezing temperatures. Shortly after we moved in the house had a "slab leak". Water pushed up from some broken pipe into the floor of the house. Our choices were no water at all, contracting somebody to excavate out under the concrete slab the house sits on for mega bucks, or reroute the water pipe from the meter near the street to the water heater. Only mega-buck, not mega-bucks for that choice. But nice new copper, guaranteed to outlive us and then some.

Just a small hitch however. The new route goes through a dirt trench from near the street to the carport (filled over on top of the pipe once connected), then up along the outer wall of the carport, into the attic and across 3/4 of it until it descends through a hole in the ceiling to connect with the water heater.  Despite insulation in the attic, there really is no climate control. Seven months of the year no cool water enters the house whatsoever. One month of the year we get cold water from the tap.  The other months are potluck. We don't worry about those. That one month, however, the copper pipe is exposed to outside temperatures, which we have recorded at least once as going down to 17 degrees. 

Would you believe in these cool nights we get "no burn" warnings? Can't burn longs in our fireplaces. It seems they worry that the cold temperatures trap the pollutants from combustion close to the ground. Too bad nobody warned our ancestors, eh? They might have inhaled all kinds of nasty stuff from those cold night fires. Better they... uhhh... froze with healthy pink lungs?

The attic does not freeze our pipe. Enough heat rises from the house to keep it thawed. We wrapped the outside pipe with that foam tube one does in cold climes to keep pipes from freezing. Heat tapes would be extravagant. But being Arizona, the tape which holds the pipe wrap together decomposes quickly, the wrap decomposes and gaps, so on those really cold nights when a freeze threatens, somebody runs water periodically. Luckily between the three of us, somebody is usually awake at any given time. I could have gone to the store and resupplied, but by the time it was needed I was again mostly stuck at home from whichever bug this time.

Our weather experts continually told us we wouldn't have a freeze here these last two weeks when there are warnings for outstate. They lied. Last night supposedly it only dropped to 39. I did my most scraping so far this morning. One thing I was smart enough to do when moving down here is keep the car window scraper/squeegee. It's been getting used. There are early seniors-only grocery store hours. I'm due at the club by or before 9 AM to unlock the club door on my assigned day of the week. I don't have to stay, particularly when I might be contagious and noticeably coughing. But I do have to unlock the door. So I have to drive there. This means I have to actually see out my car windows. All of them, since I back out over a sidewalk loaded with dog walkers onto a street with regular traffic, none of which seem to have either manners, functioning speedometers, or sense. (I even get passed when I stop at signs or red lights!)

You guessed it, windows frosted solid. It takes time to warm the engine, the wipers only do so much even once ice becomes water. Rubber does not like our heat. But once all 6 windows have turned white and need scraping, no local weather-geek can convince me we didn't have a freeze overnight. The ground may not have frozen, but places with no warmth source did. Lucky for me, by the time I get to the club, park and go in, leaving the car sit in the sun, it's almost pleasant inside once I get back in it.

Almost.

OK, OK, I recognize most of you are dealing with polar vortexes lately. My sympathies. For the snow also. But hey, gotta entertain myself somehow between 3-hour coughing bouts, right? And fyi, I'm getting better. I've been able to spend the last two nights sleeping in my bed, totally horizontal, rather than out in my semi-upright recliner with a dog warming my lap from under the blanket, well anchored by too-long-ignored toenails, gripping my skin through my PJs. I would have dealt with that too, just before... well, you heard that already.