I watch more television now than ever before. Part of that is time available after retirement and no longer working 10-15 hour days. Part of that is having a DVR so I can record multiple things simultaneously and shorten viewing time by dodging commercials. (Why should I spend a half hour watching 20 minutes of content?) And a tiny part of that is finding I can make jewelry with my hands with the TV going and give both the attention they deserve.
With the abundance of new programs in the fall lineup this year, we set a whole bunch of timers, wishing to not overlook any gems. I think three of those shows are still getting watched. I started to see patterns there, and realized that most of them have been longstanding.
I tried to remember a comedy I've really enjoyed, going back down the years. No, not that one, not that either, not... what was that? Eventually one came into focus. M*A*S*H. It's still out there in reruns, and I've picked up a few episodes. It still has something to say. I still find Frank cringe-worthy, but the rest of the characters were people, not parody. They dealt with real crises, had honor, worked together for common good. There were a couple that had something to say, and also got limited attention. Limited.
Whoever's writing comedies these days thinks that funny means stupid, craven, mean. Or maybe they think stupid, craven, and mean are funny. It's all even "funnier" when somebody takes a crotch shot. Heck, that doesn't even have to be written into a script. Watch 5 minutes of one of those "Funniest" home video shows and you'll no doubt see several. It's the most dependable event shown.
I don't find personal injuries funny. I don't think cruelty, from insults to injuries, is funny. I don't find scheming funny, nor all the machinations that seem to go into extending them into a half hour of commercials' support. I never appreciated all the abuse in Laurel and Hardy episodes that entertained all those folks wealthy enough to afford early versions of the television decades ago. I never enjoyed slapstick such as in the wayyyy overrated Three Stooges, and still find their fans incomprehensible. And does "Jackass" refer to its viewers?
"Reality" shows simply aren't. From the alleged spouse shopper contests, to machiavellian contests of elimination where betrayal wins out over ability or character, what is shown is mostly scripted, and only greed seems to be the motivation for anyone to participate. Since I'm not getting either paid in bucks or by seeing anything of interest, I'm not participating on the watching end either. Then again, I'm not sure even money would be enough incentive.
There are a few exceptions, reality shows I appreciate. "Wheel" and "Jep" are regulars here. We can all sit down and pit our own skills at answering questions or completing puzzles against the contestants, while occasionally yelling (OK, I exaggerate) at the contestants who keep playing so far past the point where they can win that they actually lose everything. Strategy counts, and in a good way, not for sabotage. AGT is a regular, though Steve is more involved in it than I. There is that occasional really special talent which makes some of the rest of the show worth dipping into.
While I relish a good "who done it" or other crime or medical dramas, that ends as soon as it detours too far away from reality. I can forgive a program where lab results are ready in hours rather than days, because I'm also in a hurry to solve the crime and catch the bad guys and gals. I do it understanding where fantasy comes in. It do it when there is a good cast of characters who make sense. I quit when there is absolutely no character growth, where nobody learns from their (long list of) mistakes. I hate shows like "24" where legal issues go by the wayside for the "bigger goal." And don't get me started on those conversations inside a moving vehicle where the driver spends more time looking at the passenger than watching the road! Really? Twenty seconds driving blind with nobody getting killed? Not even a bumper scrape? Really?
Soap operas get ignored, but a really good extended drama, stretching over years, something like "Downton Abbey', gets my full attention. I've seen the whole series twice. And the movie. It's a history lesson while "real" people work to survive and thrive through it. "Roots" had the same integrity. But series don't have to be realistic. Sci-fi, well done, gets the nod also. Babylon 5 was great, Dr. Who has its moments, lots of them. Quality matters. And not having to pay extra to watch is a determining factor. Sorry HBO, Netflix.
I'm both a news junkie and very selective. You've read my criticisms of local weather reports, yet I work to find those daily. More and more via internet these days however. I'm not a fan of if-it-bleeds-it-leads. Or spending a week on a single story which has no effect on me or more than a half dozen people personally affected, but oooooohhhh, scary! There are so many important stories out there where a followup is meaningful and even necessary. So I settle on the "best" news station and select what I'm going to watch and which I'll speed through. No Fox. Never ever. In case you wondered, ya know. Give me real facts, not spin. Don't be uncritical when the powerful are shoveling shit. Give it context. Make journalism meaningful. Give it back integrity.
If a program spends an hour of air time covering 15 minutes of story, filling the rest with repeats of what they just said and previews of what's coming up, the channel changes. I can spend 5 minutes online to find out what I wanted to. I don't need to be told 5 times that person A worried about person B, or some upcoming fact just might become important. If you have so little story to tell, but an hour to kill, tell two stories instead. Or three. Anything else is telling me how stupid I am that I can't remember major details for three minutes - OK, four - during the commercial break.
I've gravitated towards PBS. Teach me something. Treat me like I have at least a rudimentary brain. Take me places I'm never going so I can experience them on at least some level: geography, environment, culture, wildlife. Show me how something was made or discovered. History channel got some attention until they invested their time in space aliens, UFOs and bigfoot "sightings". Treating fantasy like fact buried by some conspiracy gets nixed. HGTV got brief attention until granite countertops became "mandatory" and bickering over loving or listing it took over. Conflict without cause gets nixed. Househunters was fun for a while until tropical paradise beachfront properties never mentioned their odds of hurricane survival.
Oh, and after I've fallen asleep in front of your program 5 times, the timer gets canceled as well. You may ask, 5 times? OK, sleep happens. It just might be my timing rather than a boring program. 5 seems like a valid try. I don't really need a lullabye.
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