Thursday, July 25, 2013

Voicemail Follies Redux

It's actually gotten crazier, though I've had the work Blackberry for nearly 10 months now. I'm still getting calls for the last owner of this number, wrong numbers, weird messages, and all kinds of odd communications meant for others. Last night I received a request to help with a hot wire job. This morning a collection agency left a message for Victor. It was time for a new answer message:

"Hi, you've reached Heather's work phone. I am not Victor, and I don't owe anybody money. I am not the person handling Ben's medical appointments. I am not coming over to help you hot wire a car. And I am not Bree, who was so-o-o not into your drunken sexual invitation that she passed off a bogus number to get rid of you.

I said this is my work phone. If I'm working, I'm driving, so I'm not going to answer this. If I'm not working, it's off. The ringer is off anyway. If you are somebody I know and want to talk to, you have my personal cell number. Call me there. Or you can text me here, and in a few hours or days when I notice I have a text, I'll get back to you. After all that, if you still want to leave voicemail here, I'll just assume you are too stupid to learn, and won't call you back anyway."

But if it's entertaining enough, I may blog about it and make fun of you.

I wonder if the cops would like that hot-wire phone number.

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