Wedding Shopping

The most recent stop was The Party Store. Finally, a night of work ending early enough and close enough in town for me to swing over to Maplewood Mall. I'd been there once for plates, napkins, etc. I still needed small napkins (where was my brain on the first trip?) for the cake, a roll of tablecloth paper, and now that we found the candelabra to rent, two tapers and a pillar candle, no wider than 4".

Unfortunately, no motorized carts, and the knees were an issue. I roped in the first clerk to come my way with, "and where is....?" to save time walking. I'd already grabbed the napkins, found that the roll of tablecloth paper these days is actually plastic, comes in white and not ivory (plus lots of other colors I didn't even consider), and convinced him the candles I was looking for were not the birthday variety.

We headed towards their wedding department, where he pointed out the tapers and pillars selection. Tapers in both ivory and white, check. Pillars in... OK, white only, forget the ivory tapers. The choice was between a package of two (!?!) or a single one that was scented gardenia. Cool, I love that scent. Sniffff....

Gakkk! Blech! Whatever that was really, it was the essence of pure stink. So I reluctantly reached for the two-pack, knowing one would get wasted. Who ever needs a two-pack of wedding unity ceremony candles?

He obviously sensed my dissatisfaction, and headed further down the wedding aisle to see what else might be on offer.

"Anything?"

"Nope, just the unity candles sets."

!

774

This past weekend was one of those busy-busy ones, knocking a bunch of stuff off the to-do list, getting closer to the upcoming deadlines of wedding, trip, house hunting. Four weeks left! Gulp!

We've started on the ceremony itself, along with working on vows. At least we settled on music, finally, and Rich agreed to be our official music person. He can put our selections on his laptop and cue them up - with good speakers - at the right times. We're going with "Here Comes the Sun" for a processional, with everybody heading up the "aisle" in pairs. Steph and Ben did that for their wedding and I liked that. There's nobody to "give away the bride" even if the bride agreed that it was proper to "give" her/me "away". This is me, my decision, and it's a joining, not a transfer of ownership.

And by the way, for anybody who's not caught on yet, it's a wedding without a marriage. No legal ties as far as the State of Minnesota is concerned. That's why we hit the attorney's office Friday morning, making sure we can legally share in what we chose to share in and keep separate what we chose as well.

But back to music. Steve loves Peter, Paul and Mary even more than I do, and insists on Paul Stukey's "Wedding Song" as part of the music. I agree, noting only that some of the volume is so low it might be tricky to hear. It'll be helped by being in the middle of the ceremony, when everybody "should" be quietly paying attention. For a recessional, it'll be "Our Hearts Will Go On" from "Titanic" from the soundtrack. I had thought over a year ago to use something from "Winged Migrations", beautiful music and a theme where the geese, mated for life, fly away together, but if Steve couldn't get it, I figured nobody else would either, especially in the chaos of a recessional.

So: music: check.

Start legal paperwork: check.

Apply for a loan: check. Of course, that took a couple long phone calls to the loan folks of my credit union, and a packet of paperwork to sign. They needed copies of 2009 and 2010 tax returns, and that was $.70 for copies just for 2009. I happened to have a spare copy of 2010 that the county never got around to asking for when they approved my Minnesota Care health insurance, saving a few more dimes. Since it's a home equity loan on this place, they needed proof of insurance including the replacement cost, which is over 5 times the amount of the loan I'm requesting. Note that the county assessor has its market value in this economy as just over twice the loan amount. That's one of the reasons I'm not selling now, but the same reason I'm buying now. It's easier to finance here than down in Arizona.

It took me about a week just to figure out the 2011 tax situation. I had to cross-reference a bunch of figures, with incomplete documentation this early in the year. Plus I managed to misplace the whole stack of cell phone bills after filing them along with all the other paperwork from last year in preparation for the task. At least those are available in other places. The loan folks made it more complicated by requesting a Profit and Loss record for last year. I had no idea. I mean, I know I've been paying my bills and managing to pay down my credit card bill while still earning little enough to have much of a taxable income after all the legal deductions on a Schedule C. I just haven't figured my actual expenses for over 20 years since going by mileage is so much simpler. After figuring them all out, I was pleasantly surprised. It should help me look capable of paying off the loan I'm asking for.

Besides just finding a place locally open on Sunday which makes copies, there was the half-hour hunt for the old tax returns. I knew exactly where they were before moving out of the new bedroom and back into my old bedroom. Where on earth had I put them during the move? With help from Paul, resident tall person, in getting stuff down from top shelves where they stay stored, including tax returns from 1995 (!) and 1981 (divorce year records), looking in any cranny large enough to hold the paperwork, and just plain stubbornness, aka desperation, we finally located them... still in Steve's room, high on a shelf in the back corner of the closet. They now reside in my room and Steve has a whole new half shelf to fill. It won't get his fishing rods off the floor, or the globe relocated so one can move through the closet, or the rest of his pictures hung up, but it's an improvement anyway.

Note to self for after return from Arizona: clear out all the old tax returns I no longer need, after pulling out documentation on capital improvements to this place. Owning two homes complicates the capital gains picture. Paranoia ought not to rule my life so completely when it comes to the possibility of an IRS audit. 1995!?!

Additional note to self: enjoy all the new space!

Last thing on the list that got checked off: do the headpiece. Only, I put it at only semi-checked off. I'd like it much better if I could figure out how to anchor it so it stands vertically on my head, with my short hair, rather then horizontally. It's too big and heavy, but it's just what I had in mind. Plus it's done, which may count for more in the long run. Still, if I can find the time, I'll go back, tear it apart (just the central frou-frou), cut it back down... and likely still be unable to anchor it vertically. Right now it's about twice the width of my head when it's on, including the tulle ruffle. The fear of looking ridiculous is the spur that will goad me into finding the time to put it back on the to-do list.

By now you're probably wondering why the silly title on this post and what on earth it might have to do with anything I've written thus far. Well. it's simple. Tucked in all those forms I had to sign for the loan was this little number. I missed it on the first read-through, looking only for places to sign and things needing to be dug out, copied, and included. Before signing, however, I did the every-word check. And there was that little number, sitting modestly on the page in normal type, right after the words "credit score".

Not bad for a single person with a decreasing income and still more debt that I care to disclose. It helps that I've reduced my credit card debt by over $10 grand over the last several years. It didn't help that I paid this place off early, taking it away from my record of debt-paying. It seems to make no impact that I'm paying above-and-beyond on the car each month. I'm told it should have damaged my credit score when I told U S Bank to go take a hike and destroyed their credit card and its $10 grand limit. I had no idea what the number would be. The last time I knew was when I financed the car: then it was 715. Good enough for a car loan, but for a home equity loan? I tried to check, but being the cheapskate that I am, I balk at every "free" credit score site on the internet that seems to require you to sign up for some plan or other which carries a monthly charge along with it. Not my idea of free. So I had no idea. Just hope.

Gee, 774. Cool!

First Progress

The initial beading is done. I'm referring to the forehead band of the headpiece.

The first strand was easy. I did a pattern, after starting and ending with two pinch beads, of three pearls - small, large,small - three pinch beads, three pearls, and on, until the right length was reached. I want it to extend to just past my ears. Both ends were finished off with the thread protector looped on a jump ring that's a closed double spiral. Picture a key ring where you split it and feed the key around the circle until it's no longer between two pieces of the ring. They make jump rings like that. It's safer than the cut ones which bend apart and back with two needlenose pliers, might not close perfectly and some day might gap, and bye-bye strand of whatever you were wearing. When you connect to this kind of jump ring while in the process of threading everything through and before crimping, your connection is stable and safe.

The first strand was the center strand, and meant to run straight through the center of the other two, which were to wind around it. They needed to be longer, so I cut my soft-flex about 12" longer to give plenty of working room. Yes, it meant some was wasted, but it also meant I could start with all strands secured in place around the same jump ring.

I spent about an hour, subtracting extra time for interruptions, duplicating the first strand's bead pattern, then tried winding both strands around the first. There was just no way they didn't squirm out of the pattern and start winding at irregular intervals around whatever. So, five minutes to unbead, meaning now the beads were all mixed up and I had to look for the right next bead rather than just dip into the cup each kind was in.

The only cure for the winding around all over the place was to make loops with "x"s, by stringing both strings at the same time and at intervals putting both pieces of soft flex through the same bead. The same color pattern wouldn't work, so after again starting with two pinch beads, I did four pearls, 5 pinch beads, four pearls, and on. The pearls were small, large, large, small, and the central of the five pinch beads was the one double-strung. I now had loops, and the straight center string could weave back and forward through each loop. I thought I could make the loops extra long and have wide loops, but what I got instead was droopy loops hanging off a straight top string.

Ick!

After removing about 5" of looped beads, the lengths matched once the straight string was woven through. I knew it was too late to think straight about the final finish, so let it sit overnight. This morning I figured out that if I taped each loop with masking tape down on the kitchen table so nothing twisted, I could keep it all straight for the finishing linking through the jump ring. The looped strands ends needed to be on opposites sides of the center strand, with the back end of the ring clear for the elastic to go through. As long as I did it right, and thereafter kept the elastic straight, the bead pattern would also be straight. A bit of a touch here and there in the mirror to even out the loops just before heading down the aisle will be all it then needs.

Of course I still need to add the ruffles and a side centerpiece, but not today. Today I remove more stuff from the bedroom Steve is moving into. The good news is it looks very rich as it is. I'm not adding roses onto the beads. They'd just mess it up. The rest of the beads are in a ziploc awaiting further use.

A Spool of Tulle

A spool of tulle, freshwater pearls, fabric roses, feathers, glitter, pinch beads....

I've been shopping. Wedding stuff. This is just the stuff for making the headpiece. Add a tiny wicker basket, spray paint, some ribbon, and some more of the above, and it's stuff for the flower girl's basket as well.

Just because it was there and I've been in the mood for wedding shopping, add a garter, a ring-bearer's pillow, napkins, plates, cups and plastic silverware, all in the wedding colors as well. Or close anyway. Items for the table settings will be in white instead of ivory, and red and pink instead of fuschia, colors easier to get for a Valentine's Day wedding than fuschia. At any rate, that much is done. Now I get to get "crafty".

The wicker basket was originally shades of brown and held a Christmas centerpiece. It's now ivory and stinky. So are the tips of my shoes, areas around my fingernails, spots on the backs of my fingers, and large collections of spots on the driveway and in assorted leaves. I was in a hurry for the first paint spraying and didn't go for the rubber gloves although I did remember to remove my glasses first. (Bad experience years ago on another windy day.) The paint remover does a half-assed job. Good thing I started early, eh? Gives the stuff time to wear off.

The basket will get lined with ivory tulle which will extend out over the lip of the basket and down on the right side a bit, held in place with glue, and with stitches which will also hold the fuschia ribbon in place along with fabric roses in fuschia and ivory. The ribbon is 3/8" with two outer bands in satin and a center band in tulle, or a good imitation. There'll be a bow at each handle. If I think it's justified I'll add glitter.

The headpiece steals a lot of ideas from the pictures my friend Joan sent me of her wedding headpiece, which she also made herself. There will be a forehead band of beads in three interwoven strands, in some pattern of freshwater pearls and pinch beads. I'll explain the pinch beads, figuring that since last night was the first I ever heard of them, this may also be your first time. (Hey, I can't always be the last to know everything, right?) They are glass, 4mm in size, smoothly rounded with a cross section like a triangle with a hole in it. The name comes from looking like they were pinched while being made. In color these vary from mostly clear to bits of fuschia, with the surface being irridescent. The latter helps them blend in with the pearls. The coloring is subtle, which is perfect.

I started looking for colored pearls, but nothing was the right tone and they were too big. I toyed with the idea of crystals, but while the colors were OK, the thought of their corners digging into my head all night put me off. After searching on my own unsuccessfully, I finally popped in at Jeff's last night, better known as the Taylor's Falls bead store, Non-Necessities. They've always been good at directing me to what I want, even when I'm not sure what that is. It's a few doors north of the light on 95, should you want to pop in yourself. You can usually find a curbside parking spot in front.

Back to the headpiece, I haven't decided whether to give the front more of a garland look by adding some of those fuschia roses or not. They're only about a half inch across. I'll see later, looking at it both ways. It'll be held in place, relatively parallel to the floor around my head, by elastic, upon which two layers of that same ivory tulle are gathered into ruffles, It's 10" wide tulle, and the layers will be offset just a bit and gathered from the middle so it will look like four ruffles, shortest on top with each layer a tad longer, varying between 4 and 6 inches. The edging will have glitter added, some combination of iridescent clear/white and light and dark fuschia. I have glitter, glue, and glitter glue. I'll experiment on some of the extra (10 yards total) tulle to see what works. I bought it all while I was shopping so I don't have to run out and risk not finding what I want if the first attempt doesn't look right. Where the middle of the tulle is attached to the elastic I'll be adding fuschia roses. Some of the color will show through.

It needs something of a side centerpiece, just one side. Poofy. For that I have feathers, a few larger fabric flowers, and whatever is leftover in beads to work with, possibly strung on wire this time. Not sure what that's going to look like, but we'll figure something out. So far all those centerpiece things are mostly ivory, so maybe the fuschia glitter will make another appearance. Or an appearance from fuschia roses. I bought lots. Whatever is left will get added to the trim on the ivory vest, tying it more into the color scheme.

And I still have to start the silk tunic.

Hmmm, good thing I'm starting now, eh?

Button Button

Who's got the button?

Do children still play that game? I've been playing my own version of it, looking for suitable buttons, ever since I purchased my silk. The fabric shop was great for fabric, but not so much for buttons that I thought would work with it.

Oh sure, I could have bought those self-covered buttons you put the same fabric over as what you were sewing. Boring! And besides, I never was very good at doing that without wrinkles and lumps. That option would be my very last resort.

It seems that the world is buying tan colored buttons these days. Or at least that's what they're selling. Or novelty buttons. The individual cat buttons were cute, though expensive, and my friend Joan would love them, but I couldn't see them for a wedding. Nor silver, pewter, copper or gold-toned, round, squared, or bamboo-shaped oblongs.

Steph suggested I stop in a Hancock Fabrics sometime, so I decided to check them out online, see where they were located these days. Not only did I find their website and three locations, I found their pages of buttons listings. OK, let's check them out. Page 1, nothing I wanted. Page 2, nothing. Page 3, 4, 5....8, 9... Dang! I'm bleary eyed but nothing jumps out at me but my own impatience.

OK, how about a general web search? I'm thinking pink buttons, so Google that. The first site promises any buttons I want, so click and... Oh. Do-it-yourself political pins. Hey, dummies, those are pins, not buttons! Next site is... shirts after shirts in all colors, each bearing buttons. And none even my size, to add insult to frustration.

Big help!

Hey, here's an idea, how about seeing if anybody makes rose quartz buttons? I'm thinking using some rose quartz beads in the necklace I plan to make, after all. Click. Hmmm, button earrings. Button beads. Button beads? Where do these people come up with these things?

Pink pearl buttons brings me more jewelry, no buttons. Sewing notions helps narrow it down a bit, but still nothing useful. It's been about half an hour so far. I'm about to tear my hair out. Even eBay, my old friend, is not much help. I finally wind up on a website called Etsy that sells, of all things, buttons! Real, honest to gosh, buttons!

Somehow I wind up looking at some Czech art glass buttons, iridescent pink/green with gold dragonflies across the front. Intriguing, but at 1 11/16", way too huge, not to mention pricey. Still, I'm interested enough to email the seller and ask her if they ever come in smaller sizes, explaining my project and needs. Since she's in eastern Europe, there's a bit of a time thing going on, so I'm not expecting an immediate answer.

But hey, she, specifically, is selling lots more buttons, and I decide to explore her store. There are still lots of buttons that in no way fill my color needs, but eventually I come across some roses that are iridescent red/pink/whatever, and come in 1" and 7/8" sizes. I make a note of them to come back to. Then I fine clear/iridescent roses, same sizes. After much searching, and finding lots more dragonfly buttons, again in huge sizes, I decide to order a couple sets of the red/pink roses. Worst possible case, they clash. Best possible case, they work out beautifully. In any case, it's bedtime and I'm done searching.

Next day she answers my inquiry letting me know she'll check on smaller dragonfly buttons for me, and what sizes would I like? I tell her, and last night's email she says she's found some, but it's dark there and she'll send me pictures after it's day for her so she can get good pictures. I tell her I've already ordered some from her in the roses, but am still interested. After all, what the heck? I might be able to use them in another project, or even come to like them better than the roses. Who knows?

We keep corresponding in hours-separate chunks.

Button, button, I'll soon have some buttons.

Wedding Plans

I just love it when I've planed something in my head and once I start to execute the plan, everything just falls together. But that was about the last thing that happened yesterday. Let's back up a bit first.

I keep getting asked, "When's the wedding?" It's next Valentines Day, or Feb. 14th for those who don't know that's redundant. I'm sorry for the inconvenience of it being on a Tuesday, but them's the breaks. It's all about the romance. I knew I'd never get married again unless there was a damn good reason, and it had better include romance. I don't mean infatuation. I mean those little gestures that tell the other person that you think of them. Without going into all the details, let's just sum it up in Steve being the most romantic man I know well enough to know that about.

With that date, I knew I'd have to select a site early, and I did, in Shafer. In fact, the site is being donated as a very generous wedding gift. It will host both the wedding and reception, having a nice commercial-type kitchen on premises.

Since that's the date, it's also the color scheme. Add rubies to the diamonds in the ring(s). Pick decorations, flowers, clothing in the white-pink-rose-red spectrum. For example, for flowers I'm thinking a variety of roses and stargazer lilies. The ladies/girls of the bridal party have been asked to pick out their own choice of clothing in that range. I'm not dictating outfits with lots of frou-frou that will never be worn again. Jordan selected a pink prom dress that she plans to use a second time as bridesmaid at the wedding. Steph, as matron of honor, went fabric-shopping with me yesterday. Or should I say silk shopping. She didn't find anything for herself, but she's got lots of time, and now knows what the bride will wear.

On the way to pick her up after work, I got two phone calls from Steve. He's heard back from the mother of a young grandson of his, giving permission for him to be ring-bearer. We already have selected one of his granddaughters for flower girl. The day we announced the engagement to his family, she called back and asked for the privilege, and we both were tickled, of course saying yes. His second call was to tell me her mother now has both my phone numbers so we can consult on her outfit. I'm thinking if her mom knows somebody who can sew, I can assist with some of the left-over silk from my outfit as a starting place for hers.

I put a lot of thought into what I'm going to wear. I've done the white-dress-and-veil number. Not going there again, in so many ways. As mother-of-the-bride when Steph got married, I sewed a tunic vest and pants outfit to wear over a (cheap) silk blouse. It was a linen-look fabric in ivory, with embroidered trim with tiny pearls wound through hand stitched in a border all around. It's been sitting in my closet ever since. I'll be able to fit it again by time of the wedding. So this time, I wanted to find a really nice piece of silk in a very intense, deep/hot pink to make a blouse/tunic to fit under the vest.

I had very exacting standards of what I wanted, and not just in the color. I had come across a variety of silk fabric a few years ago that was quite expensive, fairly thick compared to the Wal-Mart silk shirts I picked up long ago, slightly less shiny, and absolutely flowed. Feels like a little slice of heaven when worn. Not to mention I haven't managed to put a wrinkle in the black shirt-jacket I picked up back then. Yep, black, and not good for a wedding, at least not mine. I've worn it to a nephew's wedding over a long sundress, but it just isn't bride material. I wanted that specific kind of silk, just a different color. And maybe a different pattern. And help from Steph in using her sewing room, since I no longer have one.

I'd looked for the old JoAnn Fabrics in Rosedale, but that's a vacant storefront in a strip mall now. The yellow pages flaunted an ad for a store specializing in natural fabric, and silk qualifies, so I called. Yes, they had lots of silk, many varieties, and if they didn't have what I wanted, they could order. (They half-renegged on that after I walked in, but by then it didn't matter.) They threw lots of names past me, but I still don't know what a shantung is, or whether I like it. All I ever learned is the difference between raw and processed silk, and that came from my years of running a dry cleaners. What I wanted was processed, and that's all I still know about it.

Treadle Yard Goods is located on the corner of Hamline and Grand in St. Paul, across the street from the rightly-famous Green Mill Pizza. Steph offered to spring for supper, but shopping came first. The bolts of fabric are located on tables with signs on top stating what kind of fabric they held. The second sign from the front door said "Silk", and right in front shouting at us was the perfect color. We checked it against me and along side the vest I'd brought for just that purpose. It turned out to be the right fabric as well, and we had hopes there was enough left on the bolt. Of course, we grabbed it and then wandered around a bit to drool over some of the other selections before we had it measured. Six and a half yards, 45" wide. You don't want to know price per yard.

We took it all. It's nice to have plastic. There will be extra for - worst case - mistakes, or for pocket squares for the groomsmen and something for the flower girl if she chooses. Or perhaps a sash for future years and fashion changes, since I plan to wear this blouse often.

Since they conveniently had seating in front of the pattern books, we spent time there as well, finally settling on just the right one needing the fewest alterations to match my mental image. Buttons, not so much choice. They'll come later, as will additional trims as I decide what they should be.

Meanwhile, it will sit in my closet until later in the year when we'll start measuring and cutting. For now, tiny pieces have been cut out and will be sent to those concerned for color blending, or just drooling over the fabric. Oh, and I have one in my pocketbook for future shopping reference.

Supper afterward was as great as the shopping had been.

Wedding Notes

So much for El Nino! It's supposed to give us Minnesotans a warmer winter than usual. We arrived in Fairmont to find out they started the day at -31. It certainly wasn't much better at the time of the wedding, although the icicles descending from the roofs of all the improperly insulated houses we drove past to get to the church were absolutely spectacular! Paul got out of the car to stretch his legs a bit after the drive, and pronounced the cold air was actually OK, as long as you didn't have to breathe or anything.

The first new extended family members we met were a pair of absolutely adorable 7-month-old twin girls. Lucky John! He was becoming an instant grandfather today! Oh, and here were three or four other new grandchildren, some of whom found it their duty to fill in the silences in the service so nobody'd be lonely. Especially them.

This is John's 3rd wedding. The first was brief, ending in divorce. The second lasted many years, ending with death. Considering the first, however, the question that nobody could answer (we tactfully didn't ask the priest, just in case) was how did he get a Catholic Church wedding? Did church policies change? Didn't it count because he was/is Protestant? Or was he also tactfully silent?

The wedding was small and cozy, held in a chapel off the main sanctuary. This was good, as we just filled it, and that helped warm the room up by the end of the service. Everybody dressed warmly for it, sensibility trumping glamour, except for the bride, Susan. Her lovely dress would have been very comfortable in July, with its tiny cap sleeves. I would have been shivering in it, and would personally have turned into the "something blue", but she did look quite comfortable - no visible goosebumps, anyway.

At the reception in a local restaurant, we finally got to meet the next-most-recent newest family member, my niece's husband of about 15 months. Yes, of course we attended that wedding, held on a lovely September day in a local lakeside park, but as groom he was awful busy that day. Now we actually had a chance for conversation. He favorably impressed everybody on my side of the family, and to top it off, he and my niece just announced they are becoming parents! August!

Hooray! I get to be a Great Aunt!!!!

This raised another question, which the other great-aunt-to-be and I discussed. If the direct line goes parent, grandparent, great-grandparent, why does aunt-hood jump from aunt to great aunt? Why no grand aunt? Not that it really matters, because hey, Hooray! I get to be a great aunt!!!!!!!