In a chat with my granddaughter, we got to discussing various kinds of SPAM salesmanship. All of you who have never received such a missive from total strangers, however selfless and noble their intentions, can just skip reading any further. This will never be pertinent in your lives. Obviously you live in a totally different universe. Enjoy your stays there. For the rest of you.....
The following came in their inbox, then passed on to me to share. Her contributions to the following are in BOLD and in "quotes."
"Hi (name deleted), this is Hana a from MN Remodeling. We are offering remodel estimates this week at no cost. Would you be interested?
Today @ 4:36 PM."
My granddaughter has not only her own sense of humor, but her own spunk when dealing with offers like these at the end of a tough day at the Day Care followed by piling her own brood in the car after locking up behind the last kids, with or without errands needed on the way home necessary to deal with supper, bedtime baths, and all the other impediments to plow through before she gets her own chance to unwind and prepare for the next day's rerun. We're not even needing to mention that her family rents their abode, doesn't own, and a remodel is years away from any remotely likely life agenda that might possibly concern her.
"Hi Hana,
Unfortunately after the raccoon incident of 2024, we are no longer legally permitted to remodel anything larger than a birdhouse. The county got involved after the jacuzzi was installed in the attic and the emotional support ferret escaped into the ventilation system. We are currently under observation by three separate agencies and a woman named Denise from Menards.
That being said, if your team has experience from structurally questionable medieval-themed basements and removing glitter from HVAC systems, we may be interested. Please respond with your favorite dinosaur and whether you've ever been banned from a Bass Pro Shops."
I am refraining from naming her as the originator of the above replay. I'm sure Hana already has all the information she needs to identify the sender of the reply and likely a team of lawyers preparing a decision on the desirability of whatever their chosen response is. Personally I think either their dog ate the ferret or one of the kids is keeping a huge secret suitable for therapy in their thirties. Regardless, I dearly love them all! I have carefully refrained from inquiring as to the precise impetus behind her thoughtful reply that particular day. But hot damn! That's my girl!!!!!
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