Covering a Lie

Literally. That's how I knew for sure what I suspected. I was brought up to be very careful before calling somebody a liar.

Over three weeks ago I ordered a whirlygig for the yard. The motion in the ad was hypnotizing, all these little pieces turning themselves inside out and back around again. The budget said OK. Of course the photography let you believe it was much taller and larger than it is, but the fine print corrected that... if you read it closely. But it was always shot looking up between trees or with just sky in the background. Considering I never get on the ground these days, it doesn't occur to me that others easily can and do.

Another selling point was the ad very specifically stating it was made in America. The business started in their garage, and now expanded to several large factories in three different US cities. All in all, it seemed like a good choice.

Several days later, I got a tracking number for it. Cool, already? I clicked on the number and got a nearly blank page stating it was having trouble locating that whatever-it-is. I waited another couple days. Same result. So I contacted the company. In a couple more days I actually got a response letting me know I needed to not check it for a couple more days. So I waited again. Clicked again. A total of 8 days after placing the order I got what looked like a shipping label. Unfortunately, I couldn't read what it said. It was all in Chinese characters.

Hmmmmmm. Interesting.

Several tries and  more days later, a line with some actual English popped up. My order had finally been received. PayPal had forked over the funds. Oh, that's reassuring. Was it sent by carrier pigeon? Did the wi-fi break?

For the next three days it had a new line stating the same thing. Eventually it was "at international airport." That went on for 5 entries, then it was leaving international airport, then it finally actually left international airport. Whew! That's a lot of work for one little box to accomplish, doncha think?

Two more entries informed me it was going to destination airport. Two more let me know it had arrived, and the destination airport was Los Angeles. One more let me know it had left the airport, then one said it was accepted at at Network Distribution Center, still in L.A. Another entry stated it had arrived at said facility. Apparently they accept these things before they arrive! Amazing. I always like to know I'll be accepted before I arrive somewhere too, but I usually don't get written confirmation of the fact. It also  now bore the information. however, that the distribution center was a part of USPS. Hurray, it's in the mail! The next three entries insisted it was leaving the distribution center. That process took so long I actually now do believe in snail mail.

I do wonder where they find snails big enough to handle a box however. Maybe DeJoy knows. Perhaps he even enjoys the used ones with butter and garlic!

Without letting me know that it had finally actually left, or was about to arrive, it just announced it existed in Phoenix. Then it left Phoenix. It arrived in our post office. Today's announcement informs anybody with enough energy left to actually inquire about my package that it is out for delivery, expected to be delivered over an hour ago, or just about bedtime. Nobody bothered to change its status to make note that it arrived over 5 hours ago. But our carrier was running very late this afternoon. Maybe those snails had  gone on strike? Did somebody explain to them the bit about butter and garlic? Don't you know that's just plain cruel to tell them? I'd go on strike too!

I have it. It's opened, assembled, installed, uninstalled, disassembled, adjusted, reassembled, reinstalled, and still waiting for enough breeze to come through to get its whirlies gigging. The palm leaves we see across the street have been bowing and bobbing. My toy just kind of sits there. Tomorrow I'm looking for a new location where more breeze might reach it. Rich actually saw it go around once. I'm not completely discouraged. Yet.

But I have to call them on their big lie. American made? Shipped from China? I made a point of looking at the label when I picked up the box. It's a by-gum American USPS barcoded shipping label all right. Glued pretty well straight over the Chinese label underneath. I was very careful about peeling the USPS label off once I got the box out of the bag which bore the labels. Just to be sure.

 I still can't read the Chinese characters. They all look like tiny square boxes with a variety of lines and squiggles inside.  It's a fault in my personal education, I'm sure. All the languages I learned use the same kinds of characters I'm writing with right now. I'll have to ask these guys just which part of China is now claimed as American territory. I'm sure China will be very interested. Come to think of it, I bet we will be too. Do you think anybody will get in trouble?