We are invited to a family wedding next fall. In Tennessee. It's going to be one of THOSE weddings.
It seems the bride-to-be's maternal grandmother is what we politely call "well off." We kinda knew that when Grandma offered to fund college a few years back. OK, lucky kid, now get back to our ordinary lives and forget it. College morphed into a nursing program, not some prestigious degree at Oxford or something. She's a level headed young woman, from what I can tell during an hour or so in the back yard over a bonfire.
Steve, the bride's paternal grandfather, got texted a few photos of the wedding dress a couple days ago. Under a floor length veil are abundant skirt layers of something filmy, flowing and fluffed out a bit. Hard to tell fabric in a photo. The strapless bodice is solid beads or something sparkly, with runners of the same sewn on in points down the skirt for, oh, maybe two feet. Again, tiny picture. It's the modern dream dress. It better be. Grandma's paying for it, and the rest of the wedding, to the tune of a great down payment on a new house for the couple. But it's all for the wedding. At the local yacht club. Because of course.
Not to be outdone, the groom's family, apparently even more well off, are sponsoring the couple's honeymoon in western Europe. Nobody said how long it's going to be, just where. Oh, and don't worry about how it might be better spending that dough on a down payment on a house instead. While figures were being dropped, the phrase "seven figure salary" for the groom scratched and clawed it's way into the conversation. As those phrases do.
Now Steve and I were looking forward to a nice quiet family celebration and a couple days touring fall colors along the Great Smokies or thereabouts. Suddenly it's not looking quite so fun. This is not what we're used to by a long shot. We don't have to worry about where we will live or what we will eat, or even whether we will eat. Any time spent worrying about what we will wear is usually regarding whether it's been through the laundry yet since last time it was worn, not whether we actually have clothes. But we're thrifty and try to keep out of debt.
By comparison our own wedding cost us a license and a payment for the minister. The commitment ceremony with all the family and friends back in 2012 was rent free for the location since its use was a gift. The reception was pot luck in lieu of wedding gifts. My outfit was home sewn - both my home and my daughter's since she helped with that. The females in the wedding party were given a general color scheme - Valentine's Day red through pink - and asked to please wear something in that color range that they were comfortable in if they could, and the guys wore suits or sports jackets. Economical for all - except Steve's brother and sister-in-law who flew in from several states away. Even they left their kids home, though not sure if they were being thrifty or it was a school day. Maybe both.
At least two family weddings I've attended have occurred, with receptions, in a park. Not expensive, just beautiful and full of love. Even during my first wedding, my own wedding dress wasn't my own but borrowed from my matron of honor. I've even attended a funeral in a family member's apartment "party" room, and pot luck. All the emotions, none of the usual expense aside from a cremation.
Now we're looking at this monster of a wedding and wondering what will we wear? Will they - the other guests, not family, hopefully - look down their noses at us and be snotty? We'll already be buying plane tickets and needing a motel room. Our biggest hurdle is we don't dress up any more. Steve no longer owns a suit, though he does wear a beautiful turquoise bolo tie my father used to own. I haven't owned a dress for decades and refuse to wear "fashionable" feminine shoes. Steve at least will have to do some shopping. I have a great silk shirt - in black, but tough if nobody likes that - and a dressy pair of slacks that have been in the closet for maybe 20 years. I was thinking job interview when I bought them. I may actually fit into them again, if not now then by next fall. I'll check soon. We have almost a year. I'd hate for it to go to waste. That silk feels so sensuous. And I certainly have jewelry that I never wear. My feet, however, will be in Nikes. Men's Nikes. It's what they have been in practically since 1985. (Well, not the same pair.) I don't mess around with my footwear for anybody. They're what my feet need. I talked Steve into getting a pair or "real" shoes too, a couple years ago, He's actually worn his Nikes a few times now. He'll wear them for this wedding.
We're working on toughening up our skin for this event. If somebody minds what we're wearing, tough shit for them. If somebody wants to impress us with their wealth and status, I presume we can be fairly polite for a while. Other than family, I'm not anticipating for some reason that I'll actually like any of them. But I plan to hover around the edges with my camera and take the shots I please of the people I love, the way I usually do at weddings. Well, the weddings I'm not actually in that is.
The wedding present for the couple is already picked out. It's the same kind of thing her mother, half sister, and step sister got or will soon be getting for their wedding presents. I picked up a variety of them back when I was working for an auction company on Saturdays. Every so often he held an antiques auction and my payment went to getting some beautiful things. They're now going to new homes. Slowly. Lots of weddings to come in the family, I hope.
But I have one thing I'm really curious about. With this kind of a budget for a wedding, what's the reception going to be like? Will it be a standard chicken dinner thing, or the load-your-plate buffet where sliced meats and cheeses go into buns and there's a pasta salad and the rest of the money went into the fancy yacht club location and barrels of booze? Or will it actually be a nice special meal for all to enjoy?
I guess we're going to find out.
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