Imposssible!

My phone worked this morning. I talked to three people. All social calls, people close to me. Important in their own ways. Just not business.

This afternoon and ever since, it hasn't worked. I needed to make several business calls. Important calls. I set up the call, tell my phone to make the call, it shows it's doing so... for just over a second before it goes back to just displaying the number I wish to reach. 

Sometimes our house runs interference, being concrete block,  so when I had to run Richard somewhere in the car, while he was busy there I tried again. Same result. 

HEY THANKS, T-MOBILE !

Richard has the same problem. But he can change how his phone is set up to downgrade to 2G. It seemed to work for him, thou it may not be cause & effect. I can't. Never figured I'd ever want/need to. For that matter, not sure why I need the 4G my new flip phone is equipped with. All I ever do on it is talk to people. It's a phone, dang it. It's all I want. But today it isn't a phone. It's a temptation, something I'm debating throwing hard and far. Except it's not the phone's fault. It's T-Mobile.

So I decided to log in to their website and email customer disservice that way. They of course wanted me to change my password. They consider using it for over a few months makes it weak. It's weak, all right, a very polite way of swearing at them , telling them to stuff their constant insistence that I change the password. I could swear much less weakly. (Note, those of you with a hacking bent, none of those words are actually part of that password.) They still let me in, so I perused their website. Nearly every bit of is is financial stuff. How's my bill? What's my usage? Do I want to upgrade in ridiculous ways? Add people? 

Where's customer support?

Well, it's exactly where it's been for the last 23 years or so I've been their customer, well before they were even T-Mobile. It's ON MY PHONE! Using my phone I can dial 611 and get ahold of them. Otherwise there's an 800 number I can call, already programmed into my phone before I purchase it.

You get the irony, right?

IT'S FRIGGIN' IMPOSSIBLE !!!!!!

I dunno, can I shoot somebody? I mean, I'd have to go  get a gun first and way things are going I'd need to use my phone to do so. But... Can I? But for now, anyway, those offices I needed to contact are closed, so I've got overnight to hope nobody needs a 911 call or something, and try something different tomorrow.

*     *     *     *

Richard offered to help by checking out my phone. Even though we have 5G in the neighborhood right now, he's had to downgrade his in order to use it around the house. (Weird!) That was last year. He looked at mine, tried to figure how to get my dumb-phone to try a lower "G" in case that made a difference, and informed me that the 4G I was told the phone came with was really only a choice between 2G and 3G. (In case you were wondering, they're not additive. If they were,  I'd have 5G already. Silly thought. What would I need with that?)

I did note to him later that 4G was part of the opening screen in tiny letters, but unmistakable as a 4. He just shrugged, sticking to the ideas that 1: I was lied to and 2: my phone innards didn't match the screen.

Eventually he decided my phone wasn't going to give an answer, and lent me his, along with a special power source to keep it running while I used the 800 number to contact tech support. Since any time I touch a smart phone something weird happens, it was set on the counter in the kitchen. I decided to make my long hold times useful by doing dishes. Wiping more counters. Cleaning the stove. Washing the floor including kitchen, front entry, and hall down to the bathroom. And finally, washing the front door frame where "everybody" touches it without washing their hands first so it accumulates a lot of black on the white paint.

Yeah, the call lasted that long. I didn't get to the inside of the refrigerator though. Another day's job.

For the final 20 minutes or so, the first person I was talking to managed to connect my problem to a second person who actually called me on my own phone. Note that first person never hung up. So there were times when both of them, obviously unconnected to each other, were trying to talk to me at the same time. I stuck with the second one, the one who got my phone actually working, by somehow connecting to it from their end. Eventually Rich stepped in and talked to #1 to let her know why I wasn't answering her.

I took advantage of the situation to point out to both women that their website really should have some way to reach tech support via email or chat room or something for circumstances like mine. One agreed to pass it on.  The other acknowledged the issue without offering to kick it upstairs. Oh well.

Once my phone started working, woman #2 told me to shut it down, wait 60 seconds, and turn it on again. We needed to check that their ability to reach me wasn't some kind of fluke. OK so far. I was then instructed by woman #1 - the first indication of any kind of communication between them - that I was now to try to call somebody. OK, I called Rich. Since that phone was in use, I could hear it ringing right on the counter in front of me (totally weird: nobody's phone rings when you're on the line with somebody else!)  but obviously I didn't answer or break the connection in any way - as if I knew how.  Then woman #1 suggested I call somebody else. I called Steve, waking him up, but it worked.

Now woman #2 got back in the picture and informed me that they would be mailing me a new, free, SIM card. I should have it in 24 - 48 hours. Replace my current card with the new one. Did that mean I'd lose my directory? There's a whole lot of numbers on it that are nowhere else without a whole lot of work, and some I've forgotten I even need until I need them. Like the local post office, one of the calls I was trying to make that afternoon. Why the heck isn't my mail coming when I sent in the change of address card almost two weeks ago? Anyway, she insisted all my numbers would stay in my phone. I guess we'll find out. If needed, I can always switch between cards to locate all those existing numbers to find out what might not have transferred, because, ya know, I'm retired and have nothing else to do. Or something.

Woman #2 also informed me she was going to call my phone on Saturday to confirm it was still working. Nice! Thus started the discussion of time availability and time zones and Arizona not being on daylight savings time. Because, you know, I'm sure she wasn't anywhere in this country and needed that information. While she spoke lovely English, that accent was really thick and I'd had to slow her down several times to understand her. (I let her think that I thought it was because I'm a geezer and it had nothing to do with her. Like that happens all the time, right?)

*     *     *     *

But hey, phone is working. They'll send stuff, and call back to verify all's well around 5 PM tonight. Guess I don't need to shoot anybody after all, eh? Gonna head off to Walmart this morning for an hour's shopping before my car turns to a puddle in the sun. Or I do. 

Say, I wonder if e.e.cummings meant living in Arizona when he wrote that the world is puddle-wonderful. Too late to ask.