The 40 Question Quiz - My Version

Steve's on Facebook. I'm not. He shares stuff though, stuff I like, people I want to hear from, humor, photos, etc. The latest was a 40 Question Quiz. Thing is, there wasn't enough space on their form for real answers, and I would have asked some different questions. I mean, who really cares whether you like mustard or ketchup? So I thought I'd put out my own version. With my own answers.

1: How old are you? Are you really supposed to ask a lady of advanced years that? What? Who said that about my being a lady?
2: How many siblings? One. Doesn't anybody care which kind?
3: Are you smart? Sure I am. I even got graded with an A and a couple of SS on it.
4: What do you drink when you first get up? Do you mean the water I'm restricted to having with my thyroid pill? Or can we instead consider my morning cup of mocha?
5: What's your worst pain ever? Unanesthetized root canal. To be fair, he tried, but there was some excuse about the pH of the abscessed tissue neutralizing the novocaine. Eventually he had to bring out the gas in order to finish. Second choice might be thought to be childbirth, but those each took less than a day, and all those years of knee pain before insurance coverage for the replacements tops it for sheer audacity.
6: How many kids? 3 1/4. Technically, I think more like 3 1/7, but that's harder to visualize. And no, this is in no way an indication of any current oven buns.
7: What are my favorite types of food? Anything with sugar, salt and fat in it.
8: What's your biggest downfall? See #7. Be sure to include chocolate.
9: How many bones have you broken? Two, nose and wrist. Technically, however, it was somebody else who broke the nose.
10: Tattoos? Yep.
11: Piercings? Nope, they've all healed. I've been pierced a whole bunch of times, but after the stitches were removed, all that's left are the scars.
12: Biggest phobia? Technically, Trump isn't really a phobia, just a constant dread. So, I'll go with spiders, though I've finally gotten to the point where I can touch a picture of one on a page. But shhh, don't tell the kids. I've convinced them spiders are harmless and they should help Mama rid the house of them because those dusty webs are just ugly.
13. What's your favorite carbonated drink? Diet root beet, but only if it's the Kroger brand.
14. Name 3 things you drink. Uhh, haven't we gone at this a couple different ways already? Water, mocha, diet root beer.
15: Vodka, whiskey, or gin? Well, if you'd been the one in college who'd gotten so drunk you were vomiting all the next day, and even a whiff of ethanol brings you right back to that point, you'd already know this answer.
16: Are your parents alive? Depends on your beliefs in an afterlife. But either way, they're not paying taxes any more.
17: What's your favorite nickname? Nobody ever gave me one. At least not that I'd repeat.
18: Are you loyal? Depends. Have you earned it?
19: Hot dogs or hamburgers? Is both an answer? Otherwise, hamburger. Or Johnsonville jalapeno cheddar brats. What's closest in the fridge?
20: How many surgeries? Well, let's see: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.... Oh, to heck with it. I've donated all the spare parts I can, and am working on replacing the others.
21: Winter, spring, summer, or fall? Yes, that seems to name them all. I'm more used to 2 of them. You could call them shovel and swat, or winter and road construction, at least back north. Like, say, Minnesnowta. And Minnesauna. Down here the seasons are summer and snowbirds.
22: Favorite color? Jewel tones. I was stuck in a company uniform for so many years, and now it's time to live a little.
23: Favorite hobby? Belly Dancing.
24:  Can you do 100 pushups? Well,  I can if you take that first number off. The one on the left, please.
25: Favorite job? Assistant manager at a garden center back in Georgia. Of course there were the deadly pesticides we had to use, the black widow spiders in the outdoor shrubs, and the lightning strike that took out the whole building. Hmmm, can I have another answer?
26: Working or retired? Working hard at being retired.
27: Where were you born? Swedish Hospital, Minneapolis, Minnesota. The door is still there but the rest has been incorporated into HCMC, 3 blocks of county hospital.
28: Do you like to gamble? Only if I win.
29: Do you own a gun? Why, what are you planning?
30: Do you believe in ghosts? No. Never met one. If you introduce me, I might change my mind.
31: Do you wear glasses? Yes, but only to see or hold my ears down.
32: Prefer rain or snow? Rain, preferably something more than 3" a year, please. It's kinda dusty.
33: Can you whistle? Dunno, hand me one of those plastic things and I'll give it a try.
34: Ever been arrested? Not under this name. Nor any other, actually.
35: Are you religious? Let's just say I leave the "under God" part out of the Pledge of Allegiance, just like when I was back in school, before somebody put it in.
36: Shower or bath? Considering my new knees still don't help me stand up from any position where my butt is planted on the floor, I bet you can answer this one without any help.
37: How many TVs in your house? One is plenty. There's not enough good quality programming to fill up more than one screen.
38: Do you like to dance? In my dreams. Seriously, in my dreams. I can be graceful there.
39? Do you like camping? Love Love Love it! Except for the beds. And the toilets. And the bugs. And the poison ivy. And those obnoxious neighbors with 24 hour fireworks. And all 98,473 holes in the tent begging for raindrops. But I love it, man!
40:  ........  Anybody remember that last question? Anybody?