Responding to the Comments

Those of you who have been faithful readers of this blog may have noticed that very few comments get published, and even fewer replies to them find their way on to these pages. I've decided it was finally time to put aside all the excuses and make the time to reply.

To all of them:

Yes.

Of course I was disappointed.

Oops, my bad. Thanks for the correction.

Two? Really? It took me three!

Just what planet did you grow up on, anyway?

No. Why on earth would I?

I agree, and once again you've said it much better than I could.

While I appreciate your kind offer to allow me to provide the personal details that would verify my existence and enable me to claim my rightful share of the $12 million, I am sorry to report that I am in fact dead.

Does your wife know that this is what you think?

In order: yes, no, no, 1957, twice.

I'm not sure why you're disputing this point with me when I already made it plain that I agree with you. I suggest you go back and reread paragraph 3.

Last Monday. I'm still waiting.

Just because I say that it's not my thing, it doesn't follow that I'm impugning  your morals because it is yours.

You are very discerning, and not just because we agree. Your second point is very telling.

The rules of logic say that if A=B and B=C, then A=C. For example: Trying to deny the rules of logic is idiotic. You are denying the rules of logic. Therefore you are an idiot.

Silly me, I thought everybody knew how to use spell checkers these days.

Well, at least there is a learning curve, however flat.

Not since graduation. You?

Who let you out of Oz? No brain, no heart, you're the Scarecrow and the Tin Woodman in one, and if what you say is true, a bit of the Cowardly Lion thrown in as well.

I will erase what you just said. I'm sure once you grow up these words will embarrass  you. Perhaps they can be proved wrong about the internet being forever.

No, I wasn't referring to you. However, you know what they say about the Foo.

I owe you an apology. I'm sorry you're so sensitive. I'm sorry you're such a jerk. And I'm sorry you keep having to prove it to the world so publicly.

I completely agree. Say, when are we getting together for lunch again? Call me.

I haven't tried that. Keep me posted on how it works for you. I'd be interested to hear.

You have an interesting point of view. By the way, I've forwarded your comments to the Secret Service. Expect a visit.

You go girl!

Thanks, I will.

I don't know what his fascination is with my pillows, but I think I should discourage his licking them for more reasons than just my allergies. Don't you?

I'd hesitate to use the term "complete idiot"in that discussion if I were you. It implies some capability to be or do anything completely, and that capacity has not yet been demonstrated.

While I know you're going for some misguided sense of glory here, there's a couple of reasons your string of failures will not qualify you for the Darwin awards, notable as they were. First, you've already reproduced, God help us all, and secondly, YOU FAILED TO DIE! Go read the rules.

I'll check it out and try to get back to you on that.

Never.

Sorry, I don't consider "F*&% You" a coherent argument. Go get a vocabulary and try it again.

LOL

Eeuuuuu! I'm never going to get that 30 seconds back.

Really? Good to know.

You are responding to points not made. Are you sure you're on the right blog site?

Of course I've thought about it. I suspect everybody at least thinks about it. But I have this annoying habit of enjoying sleeping peacefully through the night.

That is a logical extension of my point, but a bit extreme, and I'm not ready to go there.

Oh no, you didn't say that! Now that choking sound coming from the back row at the funeral will be me trying my damnedest not to laugh!

I'll have to try that. Sounds like fun.

Good point, I'll pass it on here.

Impressive! Wish I could have seen it.

OMG! Two thoughts with but a single mind. Now I'm impressed.

I thought it more tactful not to ask. Still, it does leave the imagination free to roam, eh?

I prefer "cranky". "Bitch" is just so cliche.

But you had three of them in the bed with you. Just what were your expectations?

Yes, once.

I realize the statute of limitations has run out, but there are other kinds of consequences to consider.

It's not on my bucket list, but I believe I can hook you up with someone who would enjoy that. My attorney wished me to add the disclaimer, however, that I am in no way suggesting anything about what kind of a companion this person would be. Let me know if you still want to follow through.

Yeah, I tried that too, and it didn't work out for me either. Let me know if you have more suggestions.

I have taken your request under advisement but  upon examination find that I am not anatomically equipped to do so.

I'm sorry to hear that, but you won't miss it as much as you thing you will right now.

Oh yeah. When I get in one of those "where's a cop when you need one?" moods, I imagine a cosmic flyswatter descending, swatting the car flat, and casually flicking it off the road. Then I can laugh and forget the road rage impulse.

It only took two years but they finally fixed it.

I have heard rumors to that effect. Thanks for the confirmation.

No. Never.

The hole is still there, just not so noticeable anymore.

If and when it ever becomes relevant for you to know that, I'll tell you. Go ahead, hold your breath!

I wouldn't have actually wished it on him, or anyone, but hey, if you're gonna take the diaper off and baby gets cold, there are going to be consequences, you know? I let him clean it up.

Well, we disagree, but thanks for reading.