Auction Announcement

Tomorrow we have an auction at the Anoka County Fairgrounds. Noon start if anybody's interested. We always start each auction with the same array of announcements. Hold your bidding cards up: we don't read nose twitches and ear pulls. There's a 10% buyers premium: if you buy something for a dollar it'll actually cost $1.10. We add sales tax unless you have a tax-exempt number on file with us. If you have to pay with a credit card, there's a 3% fee added to cover what the credit card companies charge us. Ask if you need boxes and packing materials. If this is a location where you can store things until you can return with a bigger vehicle, we'll tell you. Or tell you if it's not. We point out concessions, and introduce the staff. We'll list our upcoming schedule as we know it at the time. We invite you to list your goods with us for an upcoming auction.

And then the auction begins.

But tomorrow is a very special day. So expect the following announcement:

Many people believe that today is the day that the world ends. While we at Brown Auctions make no comments about any one particular religious view, we do say the following. If you feel like shopping here like there's no tomorrow, well, we have no problem with that. However, please keep in mind that being raptured is no excuse for skipping paying your bill on the way out!