ROTFLMAO !!! You Thought I Was Going To Answer The Phone?

Oh My, how optimistic of you. Or perhaps obligated. Even maybe delusional?

But don't take it personally. I have no idea who you were or why you would call. But let me explain.

I'd just gotten into the car and got it started. My PCA client was just getting in, and I was taking them to an appointment they couldn't miss or be late for, with about a three minute window of error, best case. I don't do blue tooth, so there was no way to speak while driving and be legal in this state. That applies to everybody who calls while I'm driving, of course.

But today was extra special. Now, it had warmed up to 14 below by this time - I checked a bit later -  and the sun was finally out, though still low enough straight in front of me to still blind me, so no leeway for visibility adjustments. I did hear your phone call, as did my client. But it's still more complicated than that.

First, I had my knit driving gloves on because the steering wheel and other controls were still much too cold to touch with bare skin. I do have ski gloves along, but those are even clunkier when driving and I try to save wearing those for situations with even more risk of frostbite. At that moment they were inside my purse. It happened to be on the seat behind me, even if I wanted to get to them, which I didn't. And no, my phone wasn't in there at that time.

I didn't know exactly where my phone was when you called. I was well bundled, in multiple layers, knowing the car would in no way be anything resembling "warm" even once I'd finished delivering my client and got back to my home parking spot to head inside. Now that outer layer was my new down coat. Being new, it's still pretty stiff, and the huge plastic zipper even more so in the cold, as well as being under extra wide flaps with huge buttons. Maybe in a couple more years it will be easier to crinkle up and move around in, but right now it's a bit of a pain, even requiring assistance getting in and out of some days, even doubling down on that at current temperatures.

Under that layer is a polar fleece top, one I've treasured for over a dozen years, snuggly warm, but in general adding more bulk to my layers. Inside that is a knit shirt with a warm collar because that's one spot the other layers tend to not quite cover. 

Below that is a fairly new, thick, warm pair of sweat pants, and while irrelevant to the story, some really tall and snug wool socks, a brand you'd recognize as made for the outdoor working man in weather like today's is. Including other necessary pieces of wardrobe, I was pretty well encased, still able to drive safely, not inclined to exerting myself for extraneous movements with all the bundling, like hunting for a phone. It's difficult enough to reach down and push hard on the seat belt release even after I stop, (whatever happened to release levers on seat belts?)  and since I was going to continue driving for some miles, that was not about to happen. Not till I got home again.

However, unlocking that seatbelt would have been a necessary part of answering my phone.  I wasn't exactly sure where said phone was warmly snuggled at that moment. Now that unwieldy down coat has two very nice pockets, closed securely against loss of contents by big, plastic, stiff zippers. The polar fleece under that has a wide, low pouch, stretching across my whole front and covering from navel to hem. It sits, of course, very snuggly under the down coat under the seatbelt. While the shirt with the collar has no pockets, it and the other layers are long enough to cover the two pockets in the sweat pants, since I particularly look, long and hard, for women's sweat pants which have pockets on the sides of the hips, as these did. I liked them so much I bought two pair at the same time. Pockets are a treasure in sweatpants.

So to sum it up for you, my phone could easily have been in any of the five pockets, in any of four stacked layers, all of which were under a not-to-be-disturbed seat belt for at least 20 minutes. While I was busy driving. While the car was still very cold.  While my errand was quite time-sensitive. When my hands were prevented from even sensing, should I have hunted, which of those pockets might actually hold something, much less determine if that something was shaped like a phone. And which, even if they were capable of locating the phone, would in no way have been able to pull it out and open it up and touch the correct button to answer it and do it legally.

And you thought I was going to answer your call? 

Oh! My! God!!!!!!! Seriously????

Ever consider a different job than telemarketing? After all, I did find my phone to check that number later, though I'm not telling you which pocket.  It might have been an important call. It still wouldn't have been answered... then. But by now, surely.

Now this has been fun, but I'm going to go warm up with a lap robe before lunch. It should be three degrees warmer then for my next driving errand. 

Go ahead and try your luck calling then too if you wish. I'll hear the ring. I can use another laugh.