Witch Hunt? Then Witch Trial!

Trump continues to insist the investigations into his behaviors from before he ran for President up to the present all constitute a witch hunt. It's not a slip of the tongue, it's his mantra. It doesn't matter what is being investigated, who else is involved, who has testified, it's still just a witch hunt. We have "tape", whether audio like in his "perfect" calls to Ukraine President Zelensky asking for a favor in exchange for what Congress already approved in aid to defend themselves against the Russian invasion, or the joint call to Raffensperger trying to change Georgia's election by "finding" 11,780 more votes in his favor. It's still a witch hunt. It doesn't matter the country watched the video of him urging his supporters to riot on January 6th, it's still a witch hunt.

We ridicule the phrase of course. But what if we took his claims as truth? What then?

We could acknowledge his claims as having a basis in fact, and treat him to a good old fashioned witch trial. We do have a history of holding them in this country, after all.

For those not familiar (no pun intended here) with the process, it usually went like this. The accused was fastened to a seat on the end of a long pole fixed along the bank of a pool. By fastened I mean tied to with a rope or something similarly effective, something escape proof. The pole was pivoted out over the deep part of the water and the accused lowered below the water surface, where they were left for several minutes. 

The water, standing in for God of course, made the verdict of guilt or innocence. When brought back up, if the accused witch had died, it was proof that they had no supernatural powers to save themselves. A pity they were dead, but so it goes. The community likely didn't care much for them anyway or they wouldn't have been accused. However, if the dunked person had managed to survive, it was considered proof of their magical evil powers and they were dispatched immediately before they could escape again. The community was safe!

So if DJT wants to insist on this being a witch hunt, let's offer him a chance to clear himself in a witch trial! Or we could just shut him up where he can do the least additional damage from behind very secure bars. I could go for either one. Just soon, please. Soon.