Friday, October 19, 2018

FYI: I Didn't Choke

It started with a coupon. A local burger chain had a discount of some new menu items and Steve and I had talked about checking them out next time we wanted take-out burgers instead of our usual choice of Burger King since this sale matched BK's prices. Yesterday, about 1:30 PM, we did.

You note I didn't mention the chain's name. And the burgers were fine enough, at the discounted price. Neither of those things is what this post is about. I'm tempted to think what happened is political, but assholes have been assholes forever, and today's political climate fighting against civility isn't necessarily the driving force behind this.

To my surprise, having thought that 1:30 was late enough to avoid the worst of the lunch crowd, the place was packed. The drive through was slow, and I had to wait behind three other vehicles just to turn in to its lane. Customers come at that lane from 2 different directions, and I waited with my blinker on to signal my intentions. Yes, traffic was blocked, but the two cars behind me on our side waited patiently. It was finally my turn to turn into the lane, just as soon as the tail-end car in it  pulled forward a little more.

There was half a car length available, when another car came from the other direction. Rather than driving through to park next to the building, as that lane was unobstructed, it stopped, then moved just a bit as if it were going to cut in next. I was hungry, and had been patiently waiting for a while, but at that point, I wasn't having any of it. I simply pulled across in front of the other car and halfway into the drive through lane. I do admit I was sticking out a bit into the other lane, but for about ten seconds only before the way forward cleared.

Meanwhile, the driver of the other car started honking. With both our cars having their windows down, we could clearly hear loud, ugly swearing from the other vehicle. I just ignored them, but Steve had a clear view of the full flock of birds they were flipping our way, and offered one back.

Mind you, this only took about ten seconds. Traffic moved, their way was cleared, life went on.

You'd think this was the end of the story, right?

They chose to pull past at this point, despite their earlier slight angling towards the drive through lane. The first big sign in the drive through blocked our views of each other. Silly me, I assumed it was over. But the man charged over from where they parked to right outside my window, yelling at full volume (I presume: it was louder than I can manage) and flipping more birds. I ignored him, but spent about 5 more seconds working to keep Steve from gesturing in kind.

The line moved a few feet more ahead, us with it. Now the woman appeared from behind the other side of the sign,  though not advancing further forward. Safety? Quick exit? Who knows? One decibel down from a full scream, she yelled to me, "I hope you choke on your sandwich!"

I just ignored her, heading forward again with the line. I had lots of thoughts about what might constitute a reply, but was in no hurry to escalate their activity. Would it have helped to reply how Christian this was of her? Among other thoughts, there were no indications of what her religious views might be. I thought back to my time of living in Georgia, and maybe offering a deep south response of, "Well bless your little pea-picking heart!"  In case any of you don't speak deep south, any version of "bless your heart" is not a blessing but an insult, indicating just how badly you think the other person need a blessing because they're totally unable to assist themselves and need divine assistance. Stupid, lazy, major character flaws, it's an all-purpose insult. It didn't seem likely to be of benefit to the situation either, so I stayed with just thinking it.

I did share with Steve my wonder at their stopping to take so much time venting at us, since presumably they were in a hurry to eat, explaining their anger over a short wait, and they were now much more delayed in placing their order.

And no, I didn't choke on my sandwich. Not one little bite of it.

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