Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Paula Dean: A Rock, Anybody? Anybody?

Paula Den strikes me as one of those people who keeps digging. The hole keeps getting deeper and she just loves her shovel. If the goal is to restore her good name and reputation, she didn't do much to gain respect on her Today Show appearance.

I assume you've seen/heard clips by now. There she is, all tearful at the injustice perpetrated against her (!), inviting any of us out there who've never said something they've regretted, to just take a rock and throw it at her head and kill her.


Just thinking. Tempting, but of course I don't qualify. Also, being as unaccustomed as I am to taking rocks and throwing them to kill people, I'm not sure I could actually accomplish what she's asking for. Maybe she'd just get bloody, sprout a scar, and then come sue me for uglification or something. There are other considerations as well.

There's the "logic" of, after somebody hits her with a rock and kills her, her wanting to meet that person. A bit late, don't you think, Paula? Might want to rethink that strategy there. Unless, of course, you've fallen for that Zombie craze.

I'm also not sure it would accomplish my goal: would it make her shut up?

Shut up about using the N-word. Shut up about being victimized. Shut up about returning to those fine old days (to her) of plantation slavery. Shut up about claiming not to be prejudiced. And just shut up in general so we don't have to hear that very southern voice screaming with every word the embodiment of the worst of the worst stereotypes of ignorant, uneducated, southern redneck hicks.

"I is what I is and I'm not going to change."

Yes I am the grammar police, as annoying as that can be, and I'm thinking perhaps a smaller rock would do, one just the right size to fit completely into that mouth.

Just to make it SHUT UP!

A rock, anybody?


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