A Chat With the Granddaughter

I took Jordan out to dinner last Friday so we could catch up on each other's news. She's looking well after being gone to SE Asia for over 5 weeks.

First, when I informed her about the engagement, she squealed, "Oh, that's so cute!" Yeah. We geezers aren't supposed to do things like that, I guess, so when we do, it's just so cute. Well, it's better than several years ago when she saw me kissing him and the reaction was "Yecchhh!"

Yep, definite improvement.

However, I informed her that if she was going to be a bridesmaid and stand there during the ceremony going "That's just so cute," I was going to throw her out of the church. Or wherever.

We hadn't talked since before she left for music camp at St. Olaf in late June. Her mom had told me in a phone call over the lost luggage that she (Jordan) found the girls at camp too snooty and changed her mind about wanting to be a music teacher when she finished college. Jordan confirmed that her mom had gotten it mostly right - for a change - but that she still wanted to go to St. Olaf for college. She just didn't know what for, exactly. But music required lots more instruction starting much earlier in her life.

So, if I've got this right, she wants to go to a very expensive college with no idea how it'll work with her undecided-upon major with all those rich snooty girls who'll be many of the same ones or have the same attitudes as the ones from music camp? Interesting choice.

As for the trip, she mostly loved it. The first week, the one with the elephants, the primary reason she went in the first place, was a big disappointment. First, when they relocated the program from Thailand to Laos due to civil unrest, they settled for a lesser quality program. She got only about two hours a day with the elephants, and the rest touring temples and playing tourist. Second, she spend much of her time upset about the lost suitcase, distracting from her enjoyment.

Her next two weeks were island hopping and diving on the Thailand coast, and that was great fun. That's good, since there was no bonus of community service hours from that particular piece of the trip. They started with four students and ended with two. Both boys got sent home a couple days into the trip for stealing! They were just very lucky that they avoided being arrested there. Jordan thought that part was because the local cops were corrupt and just wanted money to look the other way. I asked Jordan if having half the student load meant now getting twice the attention. She said it didn't work that way. The staff got twice the time off.

The week with the orphans in Cambodia was mostly helping with the outlying facilities of the newly-build orphanage, and I gather not so much working with the orphans themselves, as the trip had actually been advertised. The last week as well struck me as the experience not quite matching the advertising, though the exact details got lost in the overall hearing of the experience.

We discussed how she compared her Rustic Pathways trip this year with the People To People trip a couple years before. Rustic Pathways seems to be much less organized, and much less supervised. I'm thinking she was lucky that there weren't more problems than there were, and also lucky that she'd had the better trip first with all the advance training and knew how to behave, how to deal with setbacks, how to travel to a foreign land.

But she's home, and safe, and has a couple of amazing experiences to remember the rest of her life.

I Won!

No, not the lottery. Yet....

But the results are finally in from the Crex Meadows 2010 Photo Contest, where top two in each category make it into the calendar for the next year.

I thought I'd missed the deadline. It was close. I knew it was just after we'd get back from vacation, and with all the chaos, I just let it go until after we got back. When I remembered to check the date, it had just ended, minutes before.

Dang!

I checked in again a few days later for something else, and they had extended the deadline. Time to get busy! I had one day! They needed an 8x10 and an e-file.

I dug out the laptop - completely untouched all vacation long in its place in the RV with all the electrical issues we'd had and the fact I hadn't actually needed it - and found the picture I'd had in mind. It had been taken years before during a presentation on site. It was a close-up of a horned owl, rather wet because it had been raining. In fact, that had been the hook the presenter used to get our attention: "What does an owl do in the rain?" After we all went out, a whole lot of folks who couldn't kill their flash found out the owl eyes in a flash picture are yellow with red pupils like little winged devils. I got a few of those. But I also killed my flash for a whole bunch of shots, and of those I selected one where the owl's beak is open with its tongue showing. (See it here on my blog.)

I wasn't sure such an "unwild" shot was what the contest sponsors had in mind, but I sent along a note explaining that I thought their sponsored events were as important a part of what they do as letting us drive unsupervised around the place hoping to find something worth shooting. With our cameras, of course, though most of Crex is open to hunters in the proper seasons, and is in fact financially supported by them. On the day I dropped off the picture, I took my dad along for a drive and we had a great time.

The following weekend I took him along when I went up again to vote, and they obligingly sat him right in front of the big hi-def TV they use for a pair of gorgeous videos for his own private viewing. He says he saw a lot of it that way, despite his vision. (At least the sound was good, music, bird calls, etc.) Then we two drove around while I took some more pictures. Never too soon to try for next year's contest, after all.

Most years they post the results right away.

Nothing.

I thought somebody hadn't gotten around to posting it on the website. Maybe they had some kind of glitch? I also figured that since I hadn't heard anything via email, my picture wasn't a winner. After all, it was entry #26 just in the birds category, and I hadn't counted to see just how many entries there were. The competition was fierce. Seeing the pictures alone is a great reason to visit.

Today I checked out their website for something else, and there it was: the winners were finally posted. Some explanation about lots of counting. May as well see who I lost to, eh? And there, on the top line of three pictures, was my owl, in second place. I made the calendar!

Some of you might expect a flat package this year for X-mas. Just so you know.

Entropy Questions

Entropy has always been something of a head-scratcher for me. Perhaps it's denial of the idea that everything is on a downhill slide and will be forever until nothing is left.

Oh, I concede that on a macro scale, some of the points are obvious. A tree dies, the wood rots or is burned, and eventually nothing is left. Iron rusts away. Even plastic in landfills will eventually decompose. Even on a larger scale, I get that the sun will burn through its finite supply of energy/matter and go dark.

However, as much as there is the inevitable down in the cycle, there is also the up. It's not straight line. That tree started as a blossom, got fertilized and changed into a seed, grew and grew, became tall and strong before it died. It's remains feed the next tree to spring from its seeds, which feed the next, etc. And that doesn't even start to take into the account the organisms which feed on it, from bacteria and fungus on up.

It's the big picture that keeps me puzzled. Our sun may go dark, but something will still be there, as will something remain of our planet, solar system, universe. The time scale of those changes is far beyond anything that will affect anything I can even recognize as a descendant, and thus needn't ever become "real" for me. And who can absolutely say that what is left cannot change yet again into something completely new and start some cycle all over again? Entropy's an interesting theory, but how does it stop all the bodies currently in motion and prevent collisions which provide a new influx of energy? Since nobody can explain the Big Bang to my satisfaction, as in where did all that "stuff" come from just before the explosion, how can they pretend to disprove we're not heading for another one? And don't feed me all that stuff about infinity, please, not when we can't disprove curved space and haven't a clue what gravity really is and string theory isn't even as good as the mozarella strings come from. If only one or two people on the planet can claim to understand such theories, who's to say they're not fantasy and the scientific emperor is really wearing no clothes?

For my nickel, it's all still a bunch of questions, not answers. And here are a couple more.

To grossly simplify entropy, the universe is going to hell. And if that's the case, what about Heaven? It that going to Hell also? If so, what's going to happen to Hell?

90 Years of the Vote

The question on MPR today was about what women have contributed to the political process since getting the vote. Have we made a difference?

I wish I had an answer, based on research and objective fact. I'm not old enough to have experienced before and after. My mother was born without the right to vote, but it came along shortly afterward, enough so that she likely took it for granted, the way I do.

I would like to insist that of course we changed things, and for the better. In some ways that has to be true. We no longer are property, though some still behave as if we are. We can own our own property, have our own money, follow our own reasonable desires. Surely our votes helped accomplish that. In the whole of things, the fact that half the population is no longer prohibited from having a say in their own lives has to have made a difference, for the better. Just like allowing whatever percentage there was/is of persons of color in the population getting the vote has made a difference, for the better. Just like allowing whatever percentage of GLBT citizens have full rights will make a difference, for the better.

It's about power.

I heard one comment read on air where somebody was whining that we women have made this country more liberal, like that was a bad thing. While I have no problem with that word, let's substitute the word "humane" for it. That's the how of why it's more liberal. Individual persons, their rights, their educations, their aspirations, their comforts, their full bellies - these are the ways women voting have made the country more humane.

We still have to fight for it, an ongoing battle against a noise machine these days that glorifies the company and the bottom line and denigrates the worker. But those of us who've been around long enough to see some of the progress and remember what it was like before, know the battle isn't won and we can't back down. We've been taught that power is unfeminine, that wanting for ourselves and our families is selfish (when somehow it's not when the robber barons do it), and a whole host of other lies that seek to make us turn away from our collective power, told to us by those who seek to keep all of theirs.

We are told that we react with feelings and not logic, by those who value only logic and don't recognize their own feelings. While this may be true with individuals on the far end of the feminine spectrum, it is equally true on the far end of the masculine spectrum. Whether our feelings tend more towards nurturing and theirs more towards rage is something to be sorted out if we can ever get away from stereotypes and figure out what is real and not. I know people of both genders who defy the stereotypes as well as those who fulfill them. If we women do tend to vote towards nurturing, towards cooperation rather than competition, then this has to be an improvement in our society. If we vote with an eye towards the family and the community and less with an eye on the profit margin, then we can help balance what is so often out of balance.

So have we made a difference? Some. Not enough.

Let's keep working on it.

Selecting The Ring

I had several requirements, once I actually took the time to think about it. I've done the big diamond solitaire bit: bad marriage, bad memories. Time for something different. And even though I reset the diamond into a new "dinner ring" with more diamonds and a pair of sapphires years ago, I just don't wear it.

I've often thought a ruby or rubies would be nice, especially since the red color is for love. Heck, a red heart would even be nice. Not necessary, but nice. Diamonds are good too, something on the small side, perhaps one or two on either side of a central ruby. Nothing too flashy or set too high, though. I'm left-handed, and still working for a living, and a high profile stone is just asking for snagging and prong wear, and with my dermatographism, would give me reasons to find it uncomfortable and not wear it.

As for the band, yellow gold. White gold contains nickel (though I found out that's in the past, that white gold now doesn't have it. Too many like me allergic, I guess.) Something simple in shape, that can go with a plain slim band.

I know rings like this exist. I've seen the flyers that come out every year around Valentine's day. They're not hugely expensive, another requirement, though I wasn't thrilled with the idea of waiting for the holiday to roll around again just to find something.

Keeping all this in mind, and after several conversations with Steve, I headed over to my favorite jewelry store tonight after work (Goodman's, in Maplewood Mall.) His basic thought was find something I like. I'll be the one wearing it. My thought was hoping I'd find one I liked tonight so I wouldn't have to do any more shopping.

I found a great saleslady, somebody who listened to exactly what I thought I wanted, gave me missing information, such as which rubies were laboratory created and which natural, and the white bands were sterling, not white gold, and once I requested sitting down, dragged all the ruby rings out of the case they were in and over to the one with chairs and a lower top. She never tried to upgrade me or in any way pressure me. She patiently let me try on whatever I wanted, let me know what the sale prices were, let me think.

I came to several conclusions. There were flashy rings on the low price end, and I wound up not liking any of them, including the heart-shaped ones with diamonds on the side. Even the two-heart rings. Nice in concept, not so much in execution. Luckily I didn't wind up liking the expensive rings either. The sterling rings were nice, but I didn't happen to pick one. What I did finally go for is subtle, low profile, and beautiful in its simplicity and complexity.

It has seven stones, lined up in a row, all the same small size, and alternating color: 4 rubies and three diamonds. The rubies are natural and deep red both, something I hadn't expected to be able to find. Apparently with small size they are still available. They do not rise very high off the band, although all are prong set and not channel set. The band is slim and straight, but has a second partial band with what I think of as opposite symmetry, appearing to cross the stone-set band, curving higher on the left and lower on the right. It gives the illusion of two interlocking bands, which is a good thing since I'm thinking of just re-using it as a wedding ring.

It has to be resized, of course, so I'll have it by the end of the month when Steve can put it on my finger. Meanwhile we all have to wait to see it.

Updates

So the kid is home, finally, working off a sleep debt after getting 6 hours of sleep in 2 1/2 days. I actually spoke to her, letting her know we'd reconnect in a few days.

Rae is better, post-surgery fever gone, foot swelling gone, waiting a clean bill of health that will let her go out to visit her sister - who is also doing better. Doctors are cautiously optimistic. However, her health is still way too fragile for her to be exposed to even a remote possibility of a bug like MRSA. Which brings me back to what puzzles me: how can they be sure it's gone when it keeps coming back after a few months?

I filled out the forms and paid my two bucks filing to run for mayor for a third term. The current mayor, Kyle, always stated he'd be running for a single term. About a year ago he added to that, in a conversation with Richard, "...unless your mom runs again." Apparently he meant that. It will be an interesting race.

My grandnephew, Elijah David White, was born Wednesday, 8 lbs. 9 oz, 21" long. I caught his new mom on her way home from the hospital with him -hubby driving- on the cell. Love the happy lilt in her voice. Shared a few tips on dealing with infants from the deep recesses of my memory. Waiting for emailed pics, though I gather there are already hundreds to go through. Gotta love the enthusiasm of tech-savvy new parents.

The hot/muggy spell has finally broken. Enjoying having the doors open, breeze blowing through a house that's been closed up way too long. Planning on a backyard bonfire/weenie-roast for supper if we can find enough dry wood to burn. That'll be a challenge. It even rained last night in a last-gasp effort at perpetual sogginess.

And did I mention I'm engaged? Or perhaps I should say we are engaged, we being Steve and I. It started out as a semi-joke last week, kind of an if-we-win-the-lottery question, where we agreed to become provisionally engaged. Last night we discussed it in person, and decided to make it official. Not that we're in a hurry to get married. There are some financial issues. But there will be a ring, something discrete in yellow gold, low profile due to work which already does enough damage to my mother's ring. And sometime next month we'll try to find a nice enough weekend to throw an engagement party in the backyard, bonfire, potluck, all that. There's still family to notify. So far the people we've told have been thrilled for us - possibly why we picked them to be the first to be told. I'm sure I'll have to keep reassuring my dad that he's not going to get kicked out of the house, that nothing's changing as far as he's concerned.

Right now the biggest change is that I can refer to Steve as my fiance' instead of my boyfriend. That's so high-school! Hardly dignified for someone retired on Social Security.

Why You Don't Ask

There's a question I've learned not to ask. It doesn't matter how hard I'm thinking it. There is a reason.

If you've been following Jordan's trip, you remember that her luggage got lost, the form letter they sent out to file a claim also got lost, she ran out of funds to get home (extra charges for suitcase and food). Seems like plenty to go wrong for a 17-year-old on her own, even through a organizationally sponsored trip, for nearly 6 weeks in SE Asia.

Yesterday I got a call from her father. She'd texted him that she'd arrived in LA and everything was fine. Whew! Safely back in the USA. Now there was just the flight back to MSP, with a stop in Denver. I could relax, "knowing" that everything else was being taken care of, that Steph and Ben were heading to the airport around midnight to pick her up, bring her back to their house to sleep off whatever she needed after all that flying, and help her decompress before returning to the "real world".

Around 10PM I got another call from her father. Turns out her flight from LAX was delayed, enough for her to miss the connecting flight. She was going to be put up at a hotel, brought back to the airport, and put on a different flight back here in the morning. And no, they apparently hadn't lost her suitcase this time. That was part of what was worrying her. She had a total of $20 in cash left, and feared they'd charge her the usual $30 for the suitcase for that final leg of the trip. And what would she eat? Seventeen-year-olds don't tend to carry credit cards for such situations.

I suggested he text her that since there was to have been only one fee for the full LAX - MSP trip, that there shouldn't be another fee just because the airlines gave her a different flight than the original. He commented he'd already texted her that if they gave her any hassle, she should try tears. Let everybody else at the ticket counter see the big mean airline as bullies giving a kid a hard time, and the PR problem alone should solve the issue. And if that didn't work, get angry!

I'm trying to stay uninvolved, emotionally. I just want to jump in and fix it. I don't care what "it" is, just make it go away. I'm still telling myself that it's not my problem, there's nothing I can do, that she's pretty grown up even if stressed out by the traveling, and hope for the best. Fingers crossed. And above all else, I'm telling myself not to ask the question.

You know what it is. We all ask it occasionally. What else can go wrong?

Problem is, every time you ask it, somebody comes along with an answer.