NOW I See It...

While in the Doc's waiting room, a different channel of morning "news" was playing on the TV. To be sure, a two-hour program did carry some news: a plane crash, tornadoes and blizzards, review of whichever bite of the Oscars got their attention. Luckily I got called back for my appointment before they started cooking or interviewing the celebrity du jour or other complete wastes of time which the TV volume made it hard to ignore. But still....

The show had two female anchors. Something about the one doing most of the talking during the segment I saw the most of was bothering me. I wasn't sure why at first. Had she just had a face lift that wasn't quite perfect? I studied her a bit. I've seen really bad face lifts - think Joan Rivers since we're talking Oscars - and this wasn't what I'd seen in those.

I kept studying her, trying to figure out why her face looked, well, just plain wrong. Her eyes blinked and moved, looking normal yet not quite. Her mouth the same, no hindrance to her doing her job. I kept studying her.

Suddenly I had that "ahah!" moment. I'd never seen it before that I was aware of, but once the idea popped into my head, it was unmistakable: she was Botoxed to the hilt! Only the two parts of her face moved, isolated in a mask of plastic. No wrinkles, but no expression either. She may as well have been animatronic.

Once I figured it out, I gladly went back to my book. What a shame! What a waste of what had once been a beautiful face! It's not even tempting to somehow dig up the money to follow that trend. I'm keeping what's left of my 70-year-old face, then my 71-year-old one, then 72.... It's more honest. And you can just look at me to know what I'm thinking and feeling. I have grown fond of the ability to express empathy, silliness, sorrow, happiness, love, or even anger with this old thing. You can even see just how smug I feel about making that decision!

Wind SW, Speed 0

You know I like to make fun of silly weather stuff, like TV meteorologists making much of very little, or struggling to stand outside in a hurrircaine because, I don't know, they're stupid? Apparently it doesn't take a TV job to be ridiculous. Seriously, with no wind, how do they pick a direction?

Let's make it even more silly. This happened to be a day I was out and about immediately afterwards, which was why I had checked for how to dress. Protest day, about to be sitting in the elements for 90 minutes, made me attentive. Flags were flying, mostly pointing a wind direction of north/northeast.

And yet, I still check this weather report.

A Little Hope Again... We Think... Maybe...

Thus far nothing has helped ease Steve's back pain. The initial run of shots was a double whammy, both draining the budget and maximizing the pain levels. We both found it reasonable for him to turn down the opportunity to get a couple more of those  just in case they had better results next time.

So, back to the drawing board, i.e., another visit to the pain clinic to find what other options might be available. OK, so the next plan is a set of shots too, but with a difference. This time they inject lidocaine in carefully selected locations to see if they give (a couple hours of) relief. If so, they repeat a week or so later to make sure they got the right exact locations of the nerves producing the pain. Then, if both times show positive results, they schedule him for ablation surgery and zap those buggers into history.

Assuming all goes as planned, he should get relief for maybe 10 months, best case. Not sure what follows that or why it wouldn't be permanent, but those months would be relative bliss.

The term ablation surgery is not a new one for us. Should medications eventually stop working to control my cardiac rhythms, they're the next step on the treatment schedule for me, likely paired with a pacemaker. I don't think it scares either one of us, particularly compared to what it seeks to fix. One of his kids is getting the procedure (cardiac) tomorrow (Wednesday).

Monday morning, right at the crack of insane o'clock, I drove Steve over for his first of the new treatments. He emerged higher than a weather balloon, partly from the sedation meds, partly from total relief of the pain. This means they found the right place. It only lasted a couple hours, but his recovery from those shots didn't drive him to the top of the pain scale the way the previous kind did. His one-to-ten pain scale levels have been a notch or two lower than they've been even before the first shots boondoggle.

It's a little scary, particularly after how high the hopes were before those first shots and how badly they got shot down, but there seems to be some new hope for an effective treatment.

We think.

Maybe....

Where's The Balance?

It's a troubling time to be a high-ranking political official in Virginia right now. It's also a troubling time to be a news consumer. Every new bit of the story, every publicized reaction, makes things more complicated for somebody willing to take in all the information and try to come to a conclusion.

First, don't mistake me: wearing blackface, posing for pictures that way or as a KKK member, are both truly stupid and hurtful. As time goes by, we should all be more aware of that. You know, just in case we missed that the first time. It was stupid and hurtful in the '80s, it is stupid and hurtful now. You can't mock domestic terrorism, however outdated you may believe it is, (because, hey, you aren't prejudiced, aren't a racist, right?) and still claim to be a thoughtful, kind, loving, and aware human being. You just can't. It isn't funny now and never was. It's one of many lines you just. do. not. cross.

And yet....

There is an old saying, "When I was young and stupid I was young and stupid." I was. You likely were too. Probably each in different ways. But still, young. And stupid. Parts of our pasts embarrass us. Parts of our pasts we would like to forget. Parts of our pasts we hope stay dead and buried in that past.

No, I'm not giving examples. Just trust me on this one. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm not helping you.

We also claim to be forgiving of others. We usually are pretty good at forgiving our own foibles. We generally tend to believe people are capable of growth, of change, of learning to be and do better. We all hope others can accept that of us and our pasts. So where in that ethos does it come in that we cannot  extend that to others over things like a choice to wear blackface, however offensive that still is? We do not have to accept that behavior to forgive that behavior.

That seems particularly true when one demonstrates better values through the more recent parts of their life. One's actions can count. Is it not reasonable to take those better acts into consideration before issuing blanket condemnation? Even in our legal justice system there is a firm precept of a statute of limitations. With few exceptions there is acknowledgement of leaving the past in the past. Blackface is not murder. Yes, awful. But where does its punishment end?

Now add politics back into the mix. Today's political atmosphere is swirling with overt racism, clusters of violence increasing in frequency and damage, and the counter-forces of people trying to make our national ethics operate on a much higher level. Again, I could write books giving illustrations but you know all this stuff. It's out there. It's inescapable.

So ask yourselves: how much of our current outrage is over offenses from the past, how much is reaction to what's happening right now that offends and frightens us? Are we (again) going to let the perfect be the enemy of the good? Where is the balance?And what are we willing to do about it?