I continue to be amazed at how many people cannot seem to pronounce certain medication names. Nor do they seem to care one iota, and this even includes some in the medical field. But a phone call this morning got me absolutely giggling. It's I good thing I knew the names.
My Part D insurance requires that my pharmacy is Walmart. Either that or I pay the whole amount. One calls in, and has to fight past the automated answering machine to speak to an actual pharmacist. I have discovered one sure-fire effective fib that works: tell the machine you need to "transfer a prescription'". The machine is programmed to "help" take care of all your issues without bothering an employee. Yelling does not help. Trust me on that. The machine won't hang up on a rude caller, which is almost more frustrating than if it did. "Pharmacist" or "speak to pharmacist" no longer gets you connected, but instead gets an inquiry from the machine as to why. But it's not capable - yet - of taking care of transferring something from another pharmacy, even a different Walmart one, because the number system on the bottles is different. A HUMAN IS STILL REQUIRED. Take advantage while it still works.
Occasionally it's helpful to bypass the human. One could be on hold for a while. My store's machine will call and ask me in its mechanical voice if I wish to refill something that its records show is about to run out... if I've been taking it as directed. It's usually phrased as "...beginning with the letters - - -". Usually that is helpful, as long as the letters are perfectly pronounced, the background noise is nonexistent, and there's only one thing starting with those letters.
I test my blood sugar once a day. Both the lancets and test strips start with the same three letters - their brand name. They don't come in boxes with the same quantity inside, of course, because Medicare hates giving me more than a 3 month supply. Lancets only come in 100 count boxes. They can't change that, but lancets are cheap. Test strips come in 50 and 100, but since I only test daily, the 100 count box is too many. Those are expensive, so Medicare tries to limit me to one little 50-count supply. This means they get renewed in different schedules. When that automated call comes through, are they asking about the lancets or the test strips? I want a pharmacist!
There are times when the dosage I need for some reason is changed temporarily. Do I need the one the machine is pushing? Can I have time to check in my bathroom when I'm in the living room or even out in the garden? I just say,"No." Nancy Reagan would be proud, right?
While there are lots of reasons to avoid the machine, this morning I found a new one. Whoever programmed it never bothered to find a way to give it correct pronunciation cues.
I started the call. I was going to be in the store later and wanted to check if my recently ordered refills were ready. There could be many reasons, but just knock it off to the grocery pick-up being at the totally opposite end of the B-I-G store from the pharmacy. I just informed the machine I wanted to check on prescriptions. It noted the number I called from, gave my birthday (oh-oh, could be security issues here) and asked me to verify it, and then did it's worst to pronounce what was ready.
First was my statin. Yes, I'm of a certain age where statins are useful, and have been for a while. Any word with "statin" in it, including statin, emphasizes the first syllable. In my case, the product name has 5 syllables, the last two of which are "statin". So the 2nd and 4th are accented. The machine accented the first, third, and fifth.
Good thing I remembered what I'd refilled, right?
I also take a drug with what seems to be the hardest name to pronounce in the country, metoprolol. It's so bad that I actually compliment medical personnel who actually can pronounce it properly. Not even all of them can. People see the word and break it up into sections... and do it wrong. 1st two make meto. (It sounds like meh - toe'.) Not "me too", something also chosen. People read a familiar word instead: metro. They borrow the "r" following the "p" and stick it earlier in the word for that particular gymnastic tongue exercise. Then there's no "r" for the 3rd syllable. Thus meh-toe-pro-lol becomes anybody's choice of four or five different mispronunciations.
The machine this morning assured me that two totally unrecognizable drug names were ready for pickup.
So yes, I hung up giggling. It beats swearing at an uncaring machine. At least the news is good.
I wonder if I could get paid for teaching a machine how to speak "medical". I figure almost anybody who did well in "speaking" organic chemistry at the U could do it. We won't discuss how "interesting" the lab-recipe part was, OK? But I do recall somebody pronouncing "acetyl" as ass'-uh-teal'.
If you need pronunciation help with that, go look it up. Please.
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