Tuesday, December 6, 2016

A Couple Weird Tidbits

No, I'm not talking about Trump's announced cabinet picks. Their weirdness speaks for itself.

The first weird thing tonight is a new use for Botox. It got its whole couple minute segment on the 10 PM news. Apparently the stuff's not just for facial wrinkles anymore. And migraines are old news as well. But tonight's newscast could have been straight out of The Onion. Only it's apparently not.

They are calling it Scrotox. And if you think about it a sec, that's exactly what it's for. Men are getting Botox injected into the scrotum, or "below the belt" as the newscaster tried to euphamize it. They claim it has a couple of uses, and we're not talking protection against a good swift kick. Although I wonder....

The first use is to drop the testicles to reduce sweating.  Uh, hey, guys, showers? That's the best cure for stink. Trust a woman on this. Plus they're much cheaper, and  useful in other ways too. Although I could see dropping them to cool the testicles to increase fertility. Too much heat impairs sperm. Don't rely on it for birth control, however.

The second use is also about dropping the testicles, in order to increase the apparent size of "certain other parts" in the, uh, foreground.

And they said, "Vanity, thy name is woman!"

You hear us laughing?

The second weird tidbit is an apparent side effect of my getting ready for Wednesday's cataract surgery. If you recall, the last vision check had my eye down to distinguishing light and shadow in very general terms, and some retention of the color red. I'm now on a regimen of two different pre-surgery eye drops, taken two and four times daily respectively. Tonight in mediocre lamp light, some high-contrast shapes are a little more defined, green and yellow are back, and blue in a cloudless sky has reappeared. So far as I know, the purpose of the eye drops is to rid the eye surface of infective microbes. Why my vision is improving is a mystery: weird, but I'll take it!

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